A Bowl of Cherries

Today/tomorrow is the VIP show at the grade school where they showcase their musical talent. Each students needs to wear a T-shirt of a specific color. If you order through the school, there is a design/logo on it. They were on sale for $10. Well, rather than spend $30, I went to Michael's and used a coupon and got 3 for $8.50. Saved $21.50+

Opened up a checking account at Chase in DH's name. Will get $150 bonus for simply opening it in ten days. It was an offer for existing customers, and no other issues like a direct deposit or anything. Made it very simple.

Sunday night took the youngest to Target for shoes and a sweatshirt. The zipper broke on Monday. I took it back today and got a credit. Then I promptly spent $23 on four clearance items for the girls and a work out hoodie for myself. Definitely more satisfying to get five items for $23 versus one item for $21. Granted the T-shirt and tanks were $2.70 each.

ETA: Forgot my $3 off of $15 women's apparel purchase at Target. They will honor it within three days of purchase. We can now say that I spent $20.99 for the five items of clothing rather than $23. Can you tell I'm still thrilled to save any and all money?!

That is all for now.

I had one of those moments today where I surprised myself, thinking about where I have come from and where I am going. I am actually making progress on lots of fronts.

I think back to how I was worried and concerned about DH and the loss of his job. His last day of employment is 8/28 and severance will see us through the year. I had many moment of anxiety, talking myself through scenarios A, B and C, probably D, too.

And then I decided to get myself back to working, or at least being able to. I wanted a part-time secretarial gig 30 minutes away, but instead would only be considered for the full-time job since there was some re-org that went on. Decided that wasn't best for me or the family. And I have a Master's degree already.

Now, I find myself in Seminary. Nine classes will bring me to certification for Pastoral Care/Counseling. I'd like to end up in chaplaincy in a hospital or prison (prison is where I feel I should be) but the hospital option for January has presented itself, so I will pursue that for now. Anyhow, if I take three classes this summer, I will be certified at the end of March. If I take the summer off, I will be certified in one year (June 2015).

I was talking with some relatives today about our situation, and I was rational, calm, and collected. I had the random realization, "Oh, yeah, *M* will be out of work, but it should be fine. I'll be able to work in a year or just under." The old me probably would have burst into tears and asked for prayers.

Other factors are helping: my girls have scholarships and are willing to do work study. We're hosting the foreign exchange student for semester 1 which will take care of most of the tuition at the high school, DH will most likely do some temp/contract work after his first semester of school. We've got the support of our community and family.

And I think that I realized that all I can do is worry about myself and the part that I can play to help make things work. I was fraught with anxiety about an interpersonal relationship that was renewed but tenuous. That was back in Feb/March. Well, to realize that two different people can have different head space and be on different paths but still have a meaningful relationship was a real eye-opener. Wow, my way works for me, but not all. Reminded myself of that again today.

What a difference from where I was. I know it isn't totally personal-finance related, but it definitely has helped deal with the uncertainty of this situation.

Today is my 24th Anniversary. I'm not quite sure where the time went, but I woke up in a nice house with a nice family and it is nice to be able to go to school and do what we do for our family. I am blessed to have this man as my life partner. It has been wonderful to see that we've created nice people who are smart and caring. Our life is full and crazy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. We aren't celebrating today per se because I have class and as far as gifts, DH is going to buy me a charm for my bracelet when the kids go to shop for Mother's Day.

It has a nice weekend. Our impromptu garage sale was only large furniture items plus some donations from my parents' yard (a set of wicker furniture and some deck chairs). We yielded $140 OOP ($15 fee to participate because this is an annual event for my subdivision complete with port-a-potties brought in for the hundreds of folks). We had three soccer games, plus went to see "Divergent" (amended 5/3 costs for $5 snacks at CVS and $30 for movie tickets).

We're officially hosting the foreign exchange student for first semester of the next school year. My girls are very excited and we have a short list of improvements we'd like to make (paint bathroom and get more storage) and repaint the spare room she'll be in. We've got enough furniture around to make it cohesive. And I'll have to deal with the closet in that room. We're signing up to runt he Biggest Loser 5K at Great America (a big amusement park near the Wisconsin border) in August, which should be a fun outing for our student.

I wish that Spring would come. It is dreary and rainy. I'm thinking about 5 miles at the Y today, then research for a paper. And class tonight.

RECAP OF TRACKING

For May 4th

MI: $0

MO: $50 Gas at Sam's
$27.98 Groceries at Sam's
$48.00 Kids stuff at Target and scotch tape

Miles at the Y: 3

I am not thrilled with the $48 purchase at Target yesterday, but it was one of those moments when the youngest son showed me his gym shoes with the hole and his jacket with the broken zipper. It was 6:15 PM and he was headed to the Adler Planetarium today on a field trip. He honestly looked liked an orphan out of Fallujah. So, he got new shoes and new coat and looked spiffy on his way to the bus stop. And he was one happy camper while shopping. The curse of the last one is that he gets the hand-me-downs or else of course I shop for him. So, all in all, his happiness outweighs the $15 I probably overspent not using sales/coupons/etc. Rant over.

May 2

Money In: $120 check from Gma

Money Out: $89.53 Groceries
$2.70 Pets
$6.47 Kids Misc (T shirts from Michael for
school show)

Miles Ran: 4.0

May 3

Money In: $140.00 from garage sale sales

Money Out: Est. $30.00 for outing to see "Divergent"
$5 snacks at CVS

Miles Ran: 0

Busy weekend with soccer games and studying and researching for paper. Spring might finally have Sprung!

Yep, got the call this AM from the school. The young lady who will be a junior in high school next year would like to stay with us. Because she is an only child, she can experience a large active American family - with someone her age/grade for school help. And she will have her own room. It will indeed be interesting. I am thinking we'll all be listening to some Rosetta Stone Learn to Speak Italian tapes in our spare time.

She'll be arriving 15 days before school starts and return home right before Christmas after the first semester ends. I will need a new mattress and curtains for the spare room, and rearrange some furniture.

We get the email information early next week so the girls can start to correspond. Wow. Three teenage girls in one bathroom will be very interesting!

Anyhow, wanted to share my excitement. SNAFU, I don't know how to PM you on the forum. Can you tell me how? I'd like to find out what your experiences have been. THANKS!

I'm going to try something new. Tracking all Money In and Money Out on a daily basis for the entire month of May. 31 days in a row of honestly tracking all MI-MO, worrying nothing about categories, etc.

Day 1:

MI = $50.00 for taking care of F's dogs
MO = $11.23 on credit card for minutes on Tracfone

Miles at Y: 3.3

Participating in my subdivision's garage sale tomorrow selling big ticket furniture items: computer armoire, antique pie safe, antique dresser, my parents' couch. Kids will each have a table, too. What doesn't sell by noon (we have a soccer game at 1:00 PM) will be considered donations.

Half way through the quarter. Got a B on the first paper - only grade, not comments. Got comments last night. I apparently am an excellent writer, and he could hear my voice in my writing. I, however, didn't engage as deeply as I could have in the texts, though I did an interesting analysis of Martha/Martha/Lazarus/Jesus relationship across the Gospels. So thankful that I quoted actual text (and Scripture) for my next paper. Last big paper is due in five weeks. I'm starting on my citation already for that.

Today I expect a trip to the grocery store to get us through the next few days, but nothing major. Well, I'll post it tomorrow!

May! I can't believe it is here. Though I shouldn't be surprised. My daughters have a countdown - 2-1/2 weeks of regular class, then finals. And the boys are out at the beginning of June.

My goals are:
(_) $1,000 in long term savings (have $250)
(_) $250 in reserve savings (have $0)
(_) $200 to retirement

We're doing OK on spending in the "living" category (groceries and gas). The "extraneous" category is going to me minimally funded and used. My girls are in need of some clothes for summer/spring, and I'm hoping to put $200 away from underused categories for them to shop closer to Memorial Day when they have decent sales at the places they like to shop.

We'll be finding out whether or not we'll be a host family for a student from Rome for the first semester of the next school year.

The schedule remains awful. Awful as in busy and I'm spending lots of time in the car driving to/from activities. I am definitely learning to be better organized and my kids are learning the benefit of preplanning and independence.

I get my second paper back tonight in Ministerial Ethics. I got a B on the first paper and am hopeful for something higher than that. I also have a substantial paper due in the Monday night class that is finally taking shape in my mind. I've made an essential connection yesterday in what I was reading with a Postmodern/Enlightened writer (Michel Froucoult) so I think I'm fine.

I had a hard discussion yesterday about my ability to continue in my present volunteer capacity with the youth summer programs at my parish. I've done it for the past five years and since my children are aged out and are only volunteers, I'm not finding it a good fit. The DRE (who is a paid employee) wasn't too happy about the fact that I said I need to discuss with her my exit strategy. I had to pat myself on the back and realize that it is OK for me to move in a new direction unencumbered. I volunteer in plenty of other capacities.

Wishing everyone a happy day. Though here in suburban Chicagoland it is grey and depressing. And chilly.

I've posted a bit about my return to school (Seminary for certification in Pastoral Care and Counseling). It has been a wonderful experience thus far, and I'm half way into my first quarter. I've been graced with a wonderful Christian environment that celebrates diversity rather than scoffing at it.

It was my ultimate goal to do hospital or prison chaplaincy. I'd like to do prison ministry, given my girls' dedication to social justice; however, the local hospital three miles from my home has a part-time program starting in January for PCE/hospital chaplaincy. I was referred by the present Deacon in our parish and learned that my admissions counselor in Seminary works with the coordinator to set up internships.

I will need to take three classes this summer, and then three in the fall. This means that I can potentially have a solid salary in less than a year, which would make things much easier financially on the family as my husband returns to school.

It is an exciting, but apprehensive time. To be in this state for the next year makes me tired, but I think with some organization and delegation it can be done. I'd appreciate any well wishes and prayers that anyone can spare.

I had high hopes for banking the extra money this month, but instead paid off the following:

$785 stupid balance of Chase, now $0
$329.50 dental balance for DH's dental work 2013
$250.00 paid toward my tuition ($200 remains)
$250.00 prepaid Irish dance tuition
$250.00 to savings

I imagine I will try to bank as much of May's funds for savings with these little nagging things off of the plate.

We're contemplating hosting a foreign exchange student for the first semester of the next school year. There is a $1,000/monthly stipend which could defray the tuition for the high school to manageable. The details will follow; we're on the list of families interested. The student would be a girl entering junior year, and I've got one (a daughter going into 11th grade) so it might be a good fit.

And DH and I are considering a downsize in the next 18 months. My brother is in the process of annulment, pursuing a marriage to a fellow Catholic. They're proposed ideal place to live is Elmhurst because bro's GF would still be close to her parents and there is a train to the city. That means a downsize of 2,500 square feet to about 1,700 square feet. I yearn for a simpler life in a smaller house. This move would allow us to be mortgage free and own two properties outright.

Well, that is it. Back to hit the books. But I did want to share the financial aspects of life here.

This week marks the half way point of my ten week quarter, my first in Seminary. I am graced with gifted theologians as professors who are teaching me such interesting and profound things. I am the only Catholic at present, but my ultimate goal of being a hospital or prison chaplain is in congruence with what they teach and what I need to learn. I wasn't sure how I was would be regarded if I shared my RC with people, but I am blessed to be in a place that celebrates all the diversity that exists within Christianity. One class requires analyzing a particular text, but another text for the class is written by a priest so I'll be analyzing that one instead. I got a B on my first paper. I felt a bit bad about it, having been an A paper writer my last go-around at grad school. There were, however, some Cs, so I'll be happy with my B.

DH is muddling his way through the last months of the job. He has a countdown and sometimes a sense of humor. He's working 55-60 hours and this last week was fraught with blowups and problems. I've learned not complain or even breathe a word of anything negative. I've learned to adapt, have patient kids, learned to ask for help from my parents, and friends. My youngest had to cross over in Scouts without a parent there. Broke my heart. My husband is the leader but had a major issue at work. A family friend is the Cubmaster who adopted "A" during the ceremony.

So we muddle through with schedules and assignment and logistics and all the financial stuff is on the backburner. We had to use the credit card because the replacement debit cards didn't come in and I didn't make it to the bank. Oh well, life does go on.

Off to catch up on the blogs. Hoping all is going well for everyone!

Well, the reality of being in school with a husband who is living at work has made things chaotic, fraught with anxiety, requires diligence and coordination of efforts. I am grateful for parents who are helpful and don't mind driving. Despite the difficulties, I am enjoying my studies and got a B on my first paper. I would have loved to say I got an A, but my cohort are second and third year grad students in Divinity, so it could have been far worse.

I continue to exercise and ran 17 miles in four days this week. The surprising thing is I am much smaller and none of my clothes are fitting me, so I am looking at rebuilding an entire wardrobe. I lamented about that in a previous post. So I am at Square One.

This is what I have purchased so far:

The striped dress with the bold red at the bottom was an exchange at Sam's Club (the original was green/blue). Cost of that was $19.99 back in March, Jones New York. I like it.

The chambray shirt dress was $13.99 at Old Navy on clearance.

The denim skirt isn't as short as it looks at was $13.99 at Old Navy on clearance.

The red/white striped shirt was $4.99 and the tank was $5.99.

I'll be heading to Goodwill for some capris (denim and khaki) plus some solid color tops.

$39 + tax this go around, and I feel like my funds were well spent.

I know that we are a diverse bunch here at SA, but we respect those differences. So for my fellow Christian Peeps, I wish you a Joyous Easter celebrating the Resurrection. For everyone else, I wish you peace.



After Mass I am hosting brunch with the parents, parents-in-law, and my brother. We will be watching "Easter Parade" - our perennial favorite - and we've added "Harvey" with Jimmy Stewart to our movie line-up. Hope everyone has a wonderful time with family and friends.

Well, I've been a SAHM forever and most of my socialization out is with like-minded moms who are dressed pretty basic. I do have the one or two "go to" outfits for more formal volunteer meetings, etc.

Now I am in school and will be entering the work force (part time) next year. I'm down about ten pounds and all of the things that I have are old and baggy or just plain don't look right.

I was out and about yesterday and looked at clothes at Target and Kohls. I'm in need of a total overhaul and find it overwhelming. It is far easier for me to outfit my husband and kids, and I don't know why.

My thoughts are to find some basic things for summer in a similar color scheme to mix and match. (Dresses have always worked easier for me, less trying to pull things together).

Any advice on where to begin, keeping in mind that I am fashionably challenged.

1) Payday was Friday. One of the benefits of the spending plan is I now know where every dollar goes. Makes it bland, predictable, boring, but comfortable. At the end of the month I will transfer the EF to the only available money market remaining at Vanguard where the rest of our money lives. I did start the Reserve/Savings funds with $100 ($50 each) and expect to have a combined total of $1,550 in both.

2) Cash only is working out fairly well. I am definitely much more prudent and judicious on the grocery items that I am buying (is this nutritionally sound? is this something that everyone likes? etc.) But I am trying to balance thing, too. We've declared Monday as donut morning because my kids love their donuts and think it is a fun way to start the week. We are also instituting milk shake Fridays - using the vitamix, making new concoctions each week. Their version of a shamrock shake was pretty close. The $5 tub of vanilla ice cream at Aldi's goes pretty far with that endeavor.

3) The extraneous fund started 4/11 with $225 in it. My goal was to stretch it out with some carryover to 4/25 but that didn't look likely after needing one new tire and dog training for our puppy T. And grooming, too. My inlaws are sending us a $125 gift card to Walmart. That will help with covering most of the cost of the tire (at Walmart). That was a nice little extra that will help keep the boat afloat.

4) It was a low spend weekend. It looks like it will be a low spend week, too. That is always good!

Tonight we are going to a function at church. Because it is Lent, we traditionally celebrate the Stations of the Cross depicting Christ's crucifiction. The 8th graders at the school are re-enacting it in silhouette form. It will be in the school hall tonight at 7:00 PM with a simple soup/bread meal following, served by the Youth Group.

I've got some meatless taco soup cooking in the crockpot and bought some cheese and tortilla chips to go with it. We are skipping soccer practice tonight for the boys (this is the frenzied third practice of the week) and making this a fun family time.

I like this inexpensive, memorable family times.

We've managed to survive the first week back to school after Spring break, the first week of spring soccer practice, and my second week in Seminary. It is definitely tiring, but I am seeing the value in preparing and planning and having reasonable expectations. And the value in delegating to the kids. And the value in having helpful family members. A time of personal growth for all of us.

Today is pay day. I paid the mortgage and a few other bills. I started the two newly designated savings account with $25. I started this pay period with $225 in the extraneous account, and planned spending will probably be 1/2 of that - a new tire and dog grooming,.

We're continuing the cash only experiment a bit longer. $375 into the gas/grocery envelope, and $225 into the extraneous envelope. With the price of gas going up, I'm paying more attention to couponing (like the $1.49 gallon of milk ones).

We've had a run of generosity from the parents and parents-in-law recently. I'm far less "weird" about accepting gifts and help. And asking for assistance - even if it is only driving to pick a child up. My mother in law knew that I was in school two nights a week (well, one night from 7-9:40 and one afternoon from 4-6:40) and when they visited last Saturday, she brought over two tubs of frozen meals (chicken/vegetable soup for the kids and baked chop suey for the grown ups). And my inlaws took us out to dinner (at Steak n Shake - though I contribute with coupons and kids eat for free ) so I can make a good dent in the original bill. They also stocked up on some pet food and dog treats. And my mom called to tell me she bought one of my favorite books in hard cover and got it autographed by the author last night.

All for now. Going to catch up on the blogs. Have a wonderful day.

I always admire those posts that have a picture and then a breakdown of how much (little) someone has spent. I finally feel as though I have one of those to share:



(Just noticed my daughter's puppy Teddy in the background!)

At Target, I purchased the following:

Bio True Contact Lens Solution
Claritin Allergy Kids' Liquid
Claritin Allergy Kid's Tablets

Lens Solution: $8.99 - $2 Target coupon - $1.50 coupon
Claritin Liquid - $8.99 - $3.00 coupon
Claritin Tablets - $17.99 - $5.00 coupon

Target coupon for spend $15 get $3.00 off

Total cost for above items $21.92

To sweeten the pot, because I purchased the two Claritin allergy items, I received a $10 gift card. I thought it was supposed to be $5, but then wondered if there was another offer going on for the greater amount.

So I spent $21.92, and have the $10 gift card, bringing my money outlay to $11.92.

Last week was spring break and I started seminary so I was in no shape to take the declutter challenge seriously. I am now ready, in earnest, to make some positive progress.

Goals for today:
1) Box up donated camping gear we aren't keeping and move to Boy Scout Troop Garage
2) Move bag of hand-me-downs to car (deliver later in week when we go to see the new baby)
3) Make arrangements for truck rental and gather helpers for ultimate donation.

Do you recall the photo I posted of my unique oddity that has been in my living room for the past decade (back in early February?). Our Vietnamese pastor was over to dinner in March and fell in love with it. We gifted it to him. It is leaving. I couldn't be happier. That is the ultimate declutter.

Our primary banking is done at PNC and we have a virtual wallet set up. The savings account has our EF of $10K. I am planning on transferring that to a money market at Vanguard where it earn more interest. I plan on moving it at the end of the month.

The plan will then be to put $250 biweekly into the Reserve Account ($500 monthly) and $500 biweekly into the Savings Account ($1,000 monthly). I won't plan on touching those funds. This will also allow me to start growing the Extraneous Funds by about $500 a month (less expenses).

DH managed to throw out my debit card. I picked up an RX from Jewel Osco. My card was put into the bag along with the Rx bottle. DH thought he was being "helpful" and brought it in, throwing out the bag AND debit card. We had it cancelled and we are now using cash. It isn't as bad as anticipated, and it is definitely a cost/cash saving measure in keeping your funds.

I will plan on funding the accounts mentioned two paragraphs previously with the state income tax refund ($250 to each). [Random thought came after writing]

The schedule is once again getting filled up, but we're definitely striving for balance, too. Date time, family time, family outing, etc. DH decided has been working long hours and is opting out of a fraternal organization meeting tonight for an impromptu dinner picnic (finger/snack foods in family room on blanket, watching DANCE MOMS). He also took last Friday off and will take Good Friday off. And we're finalizing our vacation plans to CA.

All in all, it is all good.

I finally feel like I am back on solid ground, spent most of the first quarter feeling like I was floundering in my home life and communication, etc. Not financially, because we made significant progress taking care of outstanding tuition/bills/etc.

DH took Friday off and we had a day trip downtown to Chicago. My parents funded it, paying for the train/lunch/admission to the top of Willis Tower. And we had enough for snacks before the ride home. It was very nice to have quality family time, and DH is either handling the pressure/stress better or has realized that there is an end to this thing called "Spreadsheet Armageddon".

We stayed within budget for Spring Break Fun. I was under-budget on my books for my two classes.

Today starts my second week in Seminary. I have selected a course of study that will take nine classes and in the end I will have certification in pastoral care and counseling. I have had the good fortune of being in two Ethics courses with incredible teachers. I thought that the first class was going to be the best, but the second class will prove to be one of my greatest academic classes ever (given the professor, scope of topics, and classmates).

Moneywise, we are on autopilot. Quarter 2 officially beings with this Friday's first paycheck of the period. I have decided that we'll have two accounts and divert the funds 25% - 75%, with the 75% being for long-term use. I am also trying to grow the extraneous funds account and am throwing extra funds, budget category remnants into it.

So, things are looking good here. At least it isn't feeling very chaotic and fraught with anxiety. Been there, done that.

Enjoying Spring Break with the kids. Bought the Brookfield Zoo membership ($125, of which $100 was my monthly gift from my gran) and spent $4.60 on theatre candy at CVS afterward. (We walked a lot longer than planned and my children didn't complain at all about being hungry).

Tuesday we went to the library and took out movies and Xbox games. Fun and frugal.

Wednesday we went to the Arboretum and walked 3 miles. Free as we were guests on my parents' membership, then they treated to Happy Hour shakes from Steak n Shake. Then my stepdad went through a whole arsenal of free camping gear we inherited from one of my husband's fraternal organization brothers. Yielded some interesting finds, though most of it is going to the Boy Scout Troop.

Today we're off to the second run movie theatre to see Sherman and Mr. Peabody. Budgeted. Weather is rainy so that works out well.

Tomorrow my mom is funding a trip to the top of the Willis Tower. We'll take the train, eat at Subway, see my brother's office.

And then there is school, which I am loving. My brain is no longer flat-lined. I am definitely being challenged with lacking some concepts familiar to third year M.Div. students. Coming from a Catholic perspective doesn't seem to matter at all. And this afternoon my professor is a very prominent Chicago pastor. Both of these are classes on Ethics, which I find fascinating, and how the lack of them can lead to spiritual abuse.

If I sold my rental property and my primary residence, I could live here mortgage free.

It would be tempting if my kids were older. I have been pining away for one of these townhomes. They very rarely come up.

http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/1135-Gilbert-Ave_Downers-Grove_IL_60515_M77647-04208?row=3

Wishful thinking concluded.

Hard to believe that April is here already. Summer is right around the corner as the kids are in their final quarter of the 2013-2014 school year.

My goals for the 2nd quarter are:

$1,500 for Reserves in April
$1,500 for Reserves in May
$1,500 for Reserves in June
$1,500 for Extraneous ($500 x 3)

I am waiting to hear on scholarship renewal for older daughter and financial aid/grants for sons before I come up with concrete numbers for tuition. Until then, I'll just designate those funds for the Reserve. Our EF is back at $10K and I feel comfortable with it there. I don't like anything less in it and was unhappy to be at $9.4K earlier in the month.

Working on the list of things I'd like for the house (new shower curtain and towels, some things for the kitchen, etc). I've done a fairly decent job of having a list of clothing items for the family, and thought I'd make it more encompassing. I'm frequenting Goodwill a lot more and am better able to peruse quickly rather than spend a lot of time.

My first class was last night. I might make it my only class based on the fact that I've been out of grad school for 15 years and I'm taking this class which is an elective for 3rd year Divinity students. I've got a fairly comprehensive background, but these people are *really* smart. I had to come home and read up on redemptive hermeneutics, Augustine vs. Gregory of Nyssa's concepts of celibacy, and some other things I know of marginally. All in all, my brain is engaged. And it is 800 pages of reading in ten weeks and a 20 pages paper on an ethical dilemma presenting both sides of the argument and then the writer's POV based on what has been presented.

Happy April Fools Day.

I've posted a lot about how my family is in flux, trying to ride out the stress of DH's awful job and finding employment, all while preparing for his own return to school in the fall.

An update on the homefront. Things are better, by no means perfect, but at least I feel we are traversing upward from the lowest point we've been at. I'm definitely taking the initiative to maintain contact and listen to the good, bad, and ugly. Our weekend has been a blessing with nothing but a soccer game.

And I've convinced DH to take a vacation day next Friday (kids are on Spring Break) and my mom is funding a trip for us to the top of the Willis Tower. We've never been to the sky decks, will take the train, meet my brother at his office, have lunch at a local Subway. All good.

Tomorrow night I return to school. My first class in forever. I am starting coursework for pastoral care and an eventual M.Div. I was going to take three classes to start, but at this point rather than set myself up for failure, I changed it to two. I was going to do two classes on Mondays (4:00-6:40 and then 7:00-9:40) but then switched it to one Monday night class and a Thursday afternoon which will be better for everyone all around.

I am scared, but very excited. And the potential of being qualified as a specialist in the field I've volunteered in is very appealing, meaning I can become well-compensated.

So, I thought I would share my excitement, and nervousness. If you could spare a positive thought/small prayer for the transition, I would be eternally grateful. Many thanks.

I am training for a 5K. I've become quite diligent about going to the Y daily and have missed three days since February 19th. I've spent 135 minutes in the past three days on the treadmill running in crappy shoes. Like $14.99 clearance gym shoes (Champion brand) from Payless. Yesterday I was plagued with foot cramps.

Today is pay day and tomorrow I am off to Kohl's to buy some running shoes. I'm not training for a marathon so I'm not thinking I need anything ridiculously priced, but I do have a definite need for new shoes.

And I'm not even feeling remotely bad about this expense. And I definitely won't be running in bad shoes another day.

That's it. (I think in some ways I am justifying this expense to myself through this post.) Maybe tomorrow I will post a photo of my new shoes.

Incoming:

$2,681 (Net pay and rent)

Outgoing:

$875 (1/2 mortgage payment to Reserve Account)
$403 Living (groceries/gas/extraneous)
$403 Bills (first half of April)
$1000 Reserves (Purposes TBD)

Next week is Spring break here in IL. Economic outings planned: Brookfield Zoo Membership ($129 - to be purchased with monthly gift from grandmother + $29 from living), trip to Morton Arboretum using parents' membership, lunch out at Subway ($25 gift card DH got from boss at Christmas) + overage, and trip to 2nd Run Movie Theatre $20.

We can get tix to a Chicago Fire game for $12 per ticket (the $30 seats) through the soccer club the boys play with, and this will save significantly going through Ticketmaster or Ebay.

So far, so good - frugally speaking.

For whatever reason, my fiscal years seem to coincide with the academic calendar, simply because we pay tuition for the kids, and I try to have our property taxes paid by the first installment deadline.

Here is what we've paid for the first half of the "year":
1) $6,004.20 for high school tuition (two daughters who are scholarship recipients, plus financial aid and grants)
2) $1,000 for elementary school tuition (again, we as parents are deeply entrenched in our parish as council members and position holders in fraternal organization - again financial aid)
3) $1,000 for Club soccer - three players, again deeply discounted - they actively recruited our oldest son who won at state for his age division two years ago, and we made him a package deal with his younger brothers) Note: all kids are talented and we expect this to help with scholarships in the future (both high school and college)
4) $6,000 to property tax on primary residence
5) $1,000 to my traditional IRA

I am feeling accomplished, and still have to pay a remaining $3,500 for rental property tax, but given our situation, may extend that to 10/31 tax payment deadline for second installment.

Under our present circumstances, we have about $1,500-$2,000 per month surplus for these big expenses and extraneous things. I will need to come up with some concrete goals for April's funds.

Last week was heavy. Heavy heart due to losses. Heavy eyes due to insomnia. Heavy silence due to strained communication with DH.

I feel that we've turned a page, or corner. And for that I am grateful.

I feel lighter because DH and I had some quality time together and communicated normally. I better understand where he is coming from and was able to address some of his concerns. My return to work won't impact the 2nd Shift of Life here at home. I am an effective home-manager, juggling the schedule and details and keeping balance, especially for two of our boys with LD. I plan to substitute teach in the Fall, and plan on being in a private practice seeing clients one night a week (classes I'll be taking starting 3/31). DH saw the "post employment plan and budget" and I was able to fill in some unknowns. Cost of insurance, etc. He discussed the benefits of seeing this gig out through 8/31, especially being able to start first semester back in school being able to devote time and attention to things. We've talked temp or contract work, unemployment, etc. It was all good, and since he's opened up, he's talking more in normal conversation, not bottling it all up and then spewing.

We are lighter with the money because we had our dinner party on Saturday and I spent more than usual, but not more than anticipated. We had twenty people over for dinner. The benefit to that is being reminded that we are graced with wonderful kind and loving friends. Our pastor and parochial vicar were over for dinner as well, and everyone now knows that my DH will be beginning the diaconate. It was an important reminder to me that I really do have a circle of support if I need them. One of my friends gave me a hostess gift of a beautiful necklace that I just love. The point of this to me is: I am so tied in emotionally to my "inner circle" (best friend, brother, xSIL, mom, DH) that I don't usually extend out past that, and I might - because those circle of friends are still there for me.

I am down ten pounds due to the daily exercise. I'm now devoting my time and talent to the treadmill, training for a 5K on 5/18. I have some concrete goals for the week on what I'd like to accomplish running wise.

My next post will be more concrete numbers related because I do feel that will help me with being a springboard from success - piggybacking on my above observation on goals.

And we have decided to have a vacation this summer to visit my grandma. She's 94 and in southern CA. My family does love our vacations. And the last one was a big one to CA (going Los Angeles, San Diego, etc). We'll do a day at Disney and then look into the zoo in Santa Ana, the arboretum in Pasadena, a different mission, and maybe a day trip to the mountains or desert).

Life is good. Well, it's always good. Sometimes you have to look harder for the goodness. That is sentiment only directed to me and my mental status.

for the kind support the past few days with my posts. I've been sleep deprived and worried and stressed and just not in a good place.

I had a chat with DH yesterday (forced myself to, after an avoidant personality disordered moment where I left to go to the Y and put the girls in charge of getting dinner ready with a no screen time order, meaning find a book and read). I came home to silence and DH was on the laptop (tethered to work).

I asked if he thought that maybe pursuing a temp job through a placement agency might be an option to get him out of his version of Hell (aka Spreadsheet Armageddon). He said that would be tantamount to financial suicide for the family. I pointed out that I am well aware that we'll be living on less, and my biological father did offer to cover insurance expenses - he can afford it and that would be a gift I would consider accepting at this point). I also told DH that I am worried about his health (he's gained 20+ in the eight months on the job) and the stress. I encouraged him to take advantage of the last exercise class at work (OM contracted out to a personal trainer) and DH had a reason not to (he has major conflict with one coworker who is a daily participant). There isn't really much that I can do on that end, other than offer up the funds.

We agreed to a "work free" weekend. The laptop is staying at work (or at least in the car) and we're having a lot of friends over tomorrow night for dinner (14 other than our usual seven). I look forward to enjoying company and getting back to a reality outside of our present situation.

Because I just feel like I am in survival mode right now (not being financially prudent), anyone ever been in this situation and what did you do? I guess I am specifically asking about leaving a job and going to a temp job. Not ideal, but I think it might be my reality soon. Our experience is that with several headhunters having DH's resume, nothing is really coming of it. And last day of employment is 8/31. Can he make it that long? I highly doubt it. At least not healthy and happily married.

And I didn't have the choice to sit around and wallow in self-pity, as I did yesterday, admittedly. My nine year old is home with an atrocious cough that casts me back to sleepless nights of croup. He feels alright now that he is medicated, but the cough he produces is alarmingly bad. Talked with the nurse: liquids, Robitussin or Mucinex, etc. I am pleased that I have a fully-stocked treasure trove of OTC meds. Definitely a money-saving act in and of itself (whatever OTC I need is never on sale and I no longer coupons for those items).

Emotionally I am still feeling strained. I haven't really slept well, but I am still working out regularly and am starting to seriously train for a 5K Fundraiser on 5/18. It is good to have a goal. And I'd like to see myself in the low 120s. It is nice to feel muscles in my thighs, rather than flab (oh, I still have the flab, but there *is* muscle). I haven't moved toward the cute workout clothes desire, but I might be opting for something other than large T-shirts and athletic capris. I'll be sensible though, nothing too whackily colorful and my stomach will remain covered at all times.

I appreciate the feedback from yesterday's post. I don't really know why I feel the way I do, and in the instance of the relationship where I've reached out (and feel rejected), I have to remind myself that there was a reciprocal gesture a month ago, and there will be another one at some point, and I just need to step back. Difficult to do. But I did have a flash of understanding about another relationship I have that I sort of "tolerate" the other person half-heartedly, and this person is in fairly regular contact (not about relevant things). So I am being nicer, realizing that we are all on this walk toward life and why do I need to feel better than this other person or bothered by communication. I hate to say that I am learning these lessons now, at this decade in my life. It goes deeper than the "be nice" which is what I've always told my kids. I suppose it is "be genuinely nice" is the amendment.

I am caring for my brother's dogs tonight. That means $10 or $15. I told my brother that I'd like to run up a tab and he can payout at $100. That way I won't fritter the funds away, and I can use them for summer camp for the kids.

And my mother feels badly that some of us are sick and we're stuck in the house. That translated to an offer of bagels from Great American Bagel and most likely snacks from Trader Joes.

Still feeling very bad about my friend's mother, Sicily/Teresa, the missing plane (that a friend knew passengers on), and etc. etc. Maybe just forced myself to cope better today.

Communication with DH was normal. He left work early and took oldest son to a presentation on human development at our local health resource department. There was no residual stress of the job. And he talked to another recruiter yesterday so maybe he is feeling more hopeful about getting out sooner than later from the job.

Caution: This is where I have a wake up call and am feeling very scared, because all of the above stuff is inconsequential ...

I did take a step in proactive communication and told him that I'm finding it difficult to talk to him because I don't know what sort of response I'm going to get, so I'm feeling that I'd rather be silent than say anything. I added that I don't think that is really a good thing. He acknowledged what I said. Nothing other than acknowledging. I will take that as a step in the right direction. He said he's been having some chest pains from stress and anxiety. I think something is going to have to give. And our EF only has $10.4K in it.

Definitely weighing heavily on my mind right now. The above. Scares me. What if the job kills him?