And I didn't have the choice to sit around and wallow in self-pity, as I did yesterday, admittedly. My nine year old is home with an atrocious cough that casts me back to sleepless nights of croup. He feels alright now that he is medicated, but the cough he produces is alarmingly bad. Talked with the nurse: liquids, Robitussin or Mucinex, etc. I am pleased that I have a fully-stocked treasure trove of OTC meds. Definitely a money-saving act in and of itself (whatever OTC I need is never on sale and I no longer coupons for those items).
Emotionally I am still feeling strained. I haven't really slept well, but I am still working out regularly and am starting to seriously train for a 5K Fundraiser on 5/18. It is good to have a goal. And I'd like to see myself in the low 120s. It is nice to feel muscles in my thighs, rather than flab (oh, I still have the flab, but there *is* muscle). I haven't moved toward the cute workout clothes desire, but I might be opting for something other than large T-shirts and athletic capris. I'll be sensible though, nothing too whackily colorful and my stomach will remain covered at all times.
I appreciate the feedback from yesterday's post. I don't really know why I feel the way I do, and in the instance of the relationship where I've reached out (and feel rejected), I have to remind myself that there was a reciprocal gesture a month ago, and there will be another one at some point, and I just need to step back. Difficult to do. But I did have a flash of understanding about another relationship I have that I sort of "tolerate" the other person half-heartedly, and this person is in fairly regular contact (not about relevant things). So I am being nicer, realizing that we are all on this walk toward life and why do I need to feel better than this other person or bothered by communication. I hate to say that I am learning these lessons now, at this decade in my life. It goes deeper than the "be nice" which is what I've always told my kids. I suppose it is "be genuinely nice" is the amendment.
I am caring for my brother's dogs tonight. That means $10 or $15. I told my brother that I'd like to run up a tab and he can payout at $100. That way I won't fritter the funds away, and I can use them for summer camp for the kids.
And my mother feels badly that some of us are sick and we're stuck in the house. That translated to an offer of bagels from Great American Bagel and most likely snacks from Trader Joes.
Still feeling very bad about my friend's mother, Sicily/Teresa, the missing plane (that a friend knew passengers on), and etc. etc. Maybe just forced myself to cope better today.
Communication with DH was normal. He left work early and took oldest son to a presentation on human development at our local health resource department. There was no residual stress of the job. And he talked to another recruiter yesterday so maybe he is feeling more hopeful about getting out sooner than later from the job.
Caution: This is where I have a wake up call and am feeling very scared, because all of the above stuff is inconsequential ...
I did take a step in proactive communication and told him that I'm finding it difficult to talk to him because I don't know what sort of response I'm going to get, so I'm feeling that I'd rather be silent than say anything. I added that I don't think that is really a good thing. He acknowledged what I said. Nothing other than acknowledging. I will take that as a step in the right direction. He said he's been having some chest pains from stress and anxiety. I think something is going to have to give. And our EF only has $10.4K in it.
Definitely weighing heavily on my mind right now. The above. Scares me. What if the job kills him?
It is a Different Day (Still non Dollar-related) (Major concern now)
March 20th, 2014 at 04:27 pm
March 20th, 2014 at 04:54 pm 1395334462
March 20th, 2014 at 05:03 pm 1395335034
March 20th, 2014 at 06:50 pm 1395341444
Chest pain is scary, though. Does he know to chew on aspirin right away if he feels he is having an event? He should get it checked out, but I know how men are.
March 20th, 2014 at 07:04 pm 1395342243
March 20th, 2014 at 07:58 pm 1395345494
March 20th, 2014 at 08:59 pm 1395349197
March 21st, 2014 at 01:08 am 1395364132
March 21st, 2014 at 05:28 am 1395379690
Re your nine year old's cough - I finished a double course of antibiotics last night for what may be a similar thing, so keep with the medications (16 days). Horrendous infected cough, but felt ok, except for exhausted, otherwise. The chest x-rays showed a deep pocket of infection and it's been breaking that down that was the course of the coughing. Upping ventolin was required for me too (if your child is asthmatic).
For all that is going on, it sounds like you have been visited by the gifts of grace and understanding. I am sending thoughts of patience and hope for dealing with everything else.