Our Italian foreign exchange student (here forward referred to as "M") came yesterday with her mother and stepfather for a visit. They are lovely people. We worked around the language barrier, and I think things will be fine. M is quiet and serious and while I suspect far more mature in her behaviors (FB posts and Instagrams suggest weekends away her boyfriend, drinking and smoking) as she lives at school during the week.

I also determined they are very wealthy.

Like two homes: penthouse in the palazzo in Verona and a villa in Toscano. And after one week in Chicago the parents are going on to ten-days in Barbados. And they love to vacation in Africa, spent the month of January in Zanzibar. And my entire family could like in the mother's Louis Viutton handbag (if it is misspelled, sorry!).

Welcome to suburbia! Our weekend is a trip to Milwaukee on Saturday for an Irish dance competition, and Sunday is a baby shower and a pool party at my mother's friends. And then next Saturday is at our friend's Lake Michigan house. No discoteques in DG!

The only nice thing is my oldest daughter has been invited to summer in Italy with the family. I imagine we are something like family now with these folks. The mother (in broken English) wanted to know that M will be like one of my own. Mothering a teenage daughter other than my own will hopefully be not as scary as it sounds after rereading what I just typed!

Ciao!

Today the craziness of the schedule begins: Science Readiness Camp, soccer practice, dance class, Boy Scouts. Throw in the regular paper chase and life and it is chaotic.

However, more importantly "The Italians are coming" as one son has declared. Our foreign exchange student and her mom are coming by for our first face-to-face visit. They are staying in a hotel which makes it a bit easier. The room is ready and came together really well (I spent $47.50 on bedding, $9 on sheets, $26 on drapes, and $100 on a mattress). My brother gave us a dresser and bookcase (we already had the bed) and I did spend $10 on a table. My mom gave us a lamp as did my brother. Looks very homey and comfortable. We hope she likes it.

And the house is clean and organized. No more shoving things out of site. I do have several bins to be consolidated, but those are in the basement and organized (relatively). I also did a good job putting away the camping equipment and knowing what we are short on. It does feel good to be neat and organized, helps with the internal chaos of the mind.

Well, wish us well, that our girls will be fast friends and we all experience wonderful things from this experience.

PS I am taking the day off from worrying about the future of my husband's employment situation. It *will* be fine regardless. (deep breath as I say that).

It is not easy here, let me tell you. I don't handle transition or uncertainty really well, as evidenced by my recent posts.

DH was at BS Camp with oldest son Thurs-Sat. A close family friend died (he had been my boss too for at least eight years off and on). Really, really, really hard loss to take. Didn't help that my mom was broken up too. Can't handle my own emotional baggage lately, so anyone else's is out of the question. I would have liked to stay in bed, but had plans to take kids plus friends to the zoo (six kids total, one on the Aspberger's continuum who liked to wander and leave a trail of liquid wherever we went - I wondered why he brought his own 10 juice boxes, and he kicked every garbage can one, and lamented that the "lucky penny" he found wasn't lucky.) Ordinarily it wouldn't have been a big deal to chaperone him, just on a heavy day I felt SO burdened and I hate to admit that.

Happy news: the bedroom for our foreign exchange student is almost ready. Younger daughter and I bought a mattress at Sams ($106). Couldn't find one to borrow and DH wasn't keen on finding one on craigslist. My brother is getting married next year and is sprucing up his house. We ended up with his end and coffee tables last week. He gave us my grandfather's dresser, a bookcase, two brand new pillow, a brand new shower caddy, and two lamps. I love it when my brother hands things on, it is always an upgrade!

DH and son got back from camp. DH is excited but stressed about the new job opportunity - they've gone from phone interview, to onsite interview, now on to onsite interviews with multiple people (an agenda!) for August 11th. His stress stresses me out even more. I got 4.7 miles in at that Y yesterday. The camper was tired and moody, had a shower and melt down (which I happened to ignore and went to bed). No energy left for nonsense is my motto.

Sleep has been non-existent with the mind working (or not working) and waking up in the middle night. I have been listening to "The Scarlet Letter" (easier for me to listen to than read) and even that hasn't bored me enough to sleep. I resorted to Z-quil three nights ago and then last night. I had to adjust the dosage since I'm on the little side. I think I got it right. Only slept eight hours rather than twelve.

Moneys spent: filled up both minivans since gas is cheap $69 for DH, $59 for mine. Spent on BTS clothing: $36 for 2 uniform pants for older daughter, $20 on pair of jeans for younger daughter, $20 for older daughter (dressy shirt and scarf). Also spent $120 at Walmart ($45 groceries, $60 household items - two sets of dishes/one pair of drapes, $15 on BTS items and pets).

We're off to a Seminarian send-off for our diocese. We were invited by the priest and our parish paid; DH and I are going with the boys. Should be a nice event as we are sitting with another family that are on the "really good friends" list.

Tomorrow craziness begins with Science Readiness Camp, soccer practice for all the boys, and dance class. And I'm not exactly sure when our foreign friends are rolling and what their plans are!

So, if you're still here, thanks for riding the brain dump truck with me. I do feel better getting it all out of my head and onto paper. Maybe one day I will go back and read this and laugh? Not thinking so!

ETA: The new dishes from Walmart ($50 came out of the monthly gift from my grandmother). I also spent $20 of that for the cost in the previous purchase. And I'm happy about both purchases.

I really think that I am losing any grasp on sanity that I had. August is here and that means that DH's last day is *this* month (why does that seem so much worse than *next* month). Please note: job opportunity presented to husband (went right to onsite interviews with multiple people) remains, but I don't want to jinx that opportunity and already mourned its loss twice. (Long story for another post).

I thought about taking the month off from blogging here and trying to divert my nervous energy elsewhere, but haven't committed one way or another to that concept (given this is brain dump here, or "where I try to hash it all out."

It doesn't help that August is a high spend month with back to school stuff, though we are doing only the minimum this year. If you've got markers from last year in last year's pencil bag, you're using those. And for my girls if they need text books for second semester, we'll buy those later (for electives). We've already benefitted from the kindness of others: hand-me-down uniforms for the girls (though I will need to buy one pair of black pants and a few oxfords), and school books, etc. Definitely trying to stay focused on the positive.

Books that I need to buy will go on DH's new Citibank card toward $1,500 spending for bonus.

August is a month filled with fun things: dance competition for the girls in Milwaukee which will have a visit with bro's x-gf, a baby shower, a day at Lake Michigan with our friends (though the list of guests is a lot larger than I am comfortable with - I imagine I can always bring a book and read), our foreign exchange student, etc. etc.

I've also dropped more pounds as I continue to run( a nice way to deal with some stress), and I've been through the closet and am left with what I like and what fits. And there are some major deficits for the fall/winter. I did score a great find yesterday - a $20 trench coat on FB's local garage sale page. I will try to post a pic of it:



And I am a bit overwhelmed by August's calendar - tons of driving kids to/from camps and orientations and soccer practice starts, and dance squad practice, etc.

Oh boy, am I mess. I do think I may remain here muddling my way through my angst. I clearly am not cut out for uncertainty. If you can spare any prayers for me and mine, I would be eternally grateful.

{i think that i am most concerned that if this doesn't work out for dh we are that much further away from growing our family through adoption and financial security - there, i said it. and i don't feel much better).