Last week was heavy. Heavy heart due to losses. Heavy eyes due to insomnia. Heavy silence due to strained communication with DH.
I feel that we've turned a page, or corner. And for that I am grateful.
I feel lighter because DH and I had some quality time together and communicated normally. I better understand where he is coming from and was able to address some of his concerns. My return to work won't impact the 2nd Shift of Life here at home. I am an effective home-manager, juggling the schedule and details and keeping balance, especially for two of our boys with LD. I plan to substitute teach in the Fall, and plan on being in a private practice seeing clients one night a week (classes I'll be taking starting 3/31). DH saw the "post employment plan and budget" and I was able to fill in some unknowns. Cost of insurance, etc. He discussed the benefits of seeing this gig out through 8/31, especially being able to start first semester back in school being able to devote time and attention to things. We've talked temp or contract work, unemployment, etc. It was all good, and since he's opened up, he's talking more in normal conversation, not bottling it all up and then spewing. 
We are lighter with the money because we had our dinner party on Saturday and I spent more than usual, but not more than anticipated. We had twenty people over for dinner. The benefit to that is being reminded that we are graced with wonderful kind and loving friends. Our pastor and parochial vicar were over for dinner as well, and everyone now knows that my DH will be beginning the diaconate. It was an important reminder to me that I really do have a circle of support if I need them. One of my friends gave me a hostess gift of a beautiful necklace that I just love. The point of this to me is: I am so tied in emotionally to my "inner circle" (best friend, brother, xSIL, mom, DH) that I don't usually extend out past that, and I might - because those circle of friends are still there for me.
I am down ten pounds due to the daily exercise. I'm now devoting my time and talent to the treadmill, training for a 5K on 5/18. I have some concrete goals for the week on what I'd like to accomplish running wise.
My next post will be more concrete numbers related because I do feel that will help me with being a springboard from success - piggybacking on my above observation on goals.
And we have decided to have a vacation this summer to visit my grandma. She's 94 and in southern CA. My family does love our vacations. And the last one was a big one to CA (going Los Angeles, San Diego, etc). We'll do a day at Disney and then look into the zoo in Santa Ana, the arboretum in Pasadena, a different mission, and maybe a day trip to the mountains or desert).
Life is good. Well, it's always good. Sometimes you have to look harder for the goodness. That is sentiment only directed to me and my mental status.
Lighter (Metaphor, money and me)
March 24th, 2014 at 01:40 pm
March 24th, 2014 at 03:06 pm 1395673566
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March 24th, 2014 at 10:30 pm 1395700217
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March 25th, 2014 at 12:58 am 1395709096
March 25th, 2014 at 09:52 pm 1395784374