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Home > Proactive versus reactive (Or random observations about personal growth)

Proactive versus reactive (Or random observations about personal growth)

May 7th, 2014 at 02:24 pm

I had one of those moments today where I surprised myself, thinking about where I have come from and where I am going. I am actually making progress on lots of fronts.

I think back to how I was worried and concerned about DH and the loss of his job. His last day of employment is 8/28 and severance will see us through the year. I had many moment of anxiety, talking myself through scenarios A, B and C, probably D, too.

And then I decided to get myself back to working, or at least being able to. I wanted a part-time secretarial gig 30 minutes away, but instead would only be considered for the full-time job since there was some re-org that went on. Decided that wasn't best for me or the family. And I have a Master's degree already.

Now, I find myself in Seminary. Nine classes will bring me to certification for Pastoral Care/Counseling. I'd like to end up in chaplaincy in a hospital or prison (prison is where I feel I should be) but the hospital option for January has presented itself, so I will pursue that for now. Anyhow, if I take three classes this summer, I will be certified at the end of March. If I take the summer off, I will be certified in one year (June 2015).

I was talking with some relatives today about our situation, and I was rational, calm, and collected. I had the random realization, "Oh, yeah, *M* will be out of work, but it should be fine. I'll be able to work in a year or just under." The old me probably would have burst into tears and asked for prayers.

Other factors are helping: my girls have scholarships and are willing to do work study. We're hosting the foreign exchange student for semester 1 which will take care of most of the tuition at the high school, DH will most likely do some temp/contract work after his first semester of school. We've got the support of our community and family.

And I think that I realized that all I can do is worry about myself and the part that I can play to help make things work. I was fraught with anxiety about an interpersonal relationship that was renewed but tenuous. That was back in Feb/March. Well, to realize that two different people can have different head space and be on different paths but still have a meaningful relationship was a real eye-opener. Wow, my way works for me, but not all. Reminded myself of that again today.

What a difference from where I was. I know it isn't totally personal-finance related, but it definitely has helped deal with the uncertainty of this situation.

2 Responses to “Proactive versus reactive (Or random observations about personal growth)”

  1. ceejay74 Says:

    Your personal growth has been profound. I've been stepping back and marveling at a couple of changes in my mindset and behavior, and it can be pretty impressive when you actually give yourself credit.

  2. snafu Says:

    What a wonderful change. We all knew you would successfully cope with change and have it serve as a positive experience and now you know that to be true.

    I guess PM are only exchanged on the savingadvice.com side of SA. We fell in love with the foreign students we hosted and still keep in touch. They were so kind, polite and genuinely interested in fitting in. We found it effective to give our foreign students a printed page of house rules. They understand written English a tad better than verbal skills. We covered things that seemed more culture differences like 'Canadians are very direct. Please tell us when you don't understand words we use so we can give a better explanation. You will need to keep your room tidy, dust, vacuum, remove trash, do your own laundry including bed linen and towels each week and every week. If something breaks or goes wrong, please tell us as soon as possible so we can find a solution.'

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