A Bowl of Cherries

Anyone recall the foreign exchange student we (briefly) hosted from Italy? Back in August at the beginning of the school year? The one that lasted four weeks. And ultimately requested a transfer because we were too chaotic of a household (we really weren't tolerant of underage smoking - albeit outside, or underage drinking - albeit at other high schoolers' houses (but poor unsmart girl posted to Instagram), and then the matter of the 20+ year old boyfriend who was coming from Italy and she expected him to either 1) be able to stay at my home, or 2) that she be able to stay with him at a hotel?

She ended up going to another family who was far stricter than we were. She had to adhere to a 10:30 curfew (we were at least midnight), and she was expected to attend Mass at least weekly, and the host family told her that she couldn't date the senior wrestler (she ultimately broke up with the Italian boyfriend to date Americans) more than once on the weekend. There was a huge argument between the foreign exchange student's parents who essentially challenged the authority of the host parents, drama, drama, drama.

Anyhow, turns out she requested a return to us twice. And she was sorry she left in the first place. Nonsense. Anyhow, I learned about the second request to return to us from the principal.

We are receiving a stipend payment in the amount of $400 (of the $1600) to be credited to our tuition account. So we close the chapter on the Italian who is going home on the 20th. My, what a crazy ride it *could* have been!!

OK. To "think" like a goal-oriented person, here are the money plans for December's remaining funds. I am still hashing out the relationships between money plans/goals. They are inter-related in my mind. Does money plan = budget?

1) To make January's mortgage payment by month's end
(Guaranteed $ in: $2,000 + Probably $ in: $1,450)

2) To make additional $200 contributions to annuity

3) Remainder of Christmas in cash

4) Additional $500 to savings

The goals update posts make me a bit sad. I would like to have been a member of the "I've set a goal and accomplished it" Club. But, alas, another failed year. I imagine that having been in "OMG, we're gonna be unemployed and when what ... ??" mode zapped a lot of energy when all I wanted to do was survive.

Well, that has passed and DH has secure employment. So, we move onto the next step. Right?

[Insert Tangent]

I was a big fan of the band The Lemonheads in the 90s. One of my favorite songs was Rudderless, and I am humming it now to myself - especially the refrain "I'm like a ship without a rudder ... a ship without a rudder ..."

[Tangent over]

So it is time to come up with some plans that are concrete. Sort of overwhelmed by it. But definitely having a motivation to start small and end big.

ETA: First small step (proactive)

1) Just increased 401K contribution for DH from 2% to 6%. We had decreased it pending unemployment. 6% is the cap of employer-matching. Due to the switching over of systems from the merger, this will go into effect the paycheck of 1/16/15, but at least it is in place.

2) Discussed with our friendly tax man the adoption credit briefly. Save receipts is what I was told.

Firstly, thanks for the responses to yesterday's dump post. If I could have found anything therapeutic with a "silent scream" I would have. It was nice to vent. And it was nice to have DH sort of laugh when I shared most of my gripes (even including MIL). His favorite go to saying is: "Others should weed their own gardens before worrying about my dandelions. But then again, I could be harvesting those leaves for wine!"

On to regularly scheduled post:

The kids are getting one item from Santa this year. One thing that they really wanted. Here is the list:

1) Pair of headphones - beats by Dr. Dre - got a great deal on groupon for $142 (could have spent $199)
2) Nintendo 3DS XL - got for $169 at Target when on sale and used additional coupons (could have spent $199)
3) One Sphero RC with cover - $129 (not sure what I could have spent)
4) One Nikon Coolpix camera - spent $184.xx on Thanksgiving (could have spent $300 and got free photo card)
5) One Michael Korrs large carryall bag - paid $150, could have spent $230 if I believe the price that TJ Maxx says other stores would have charged me.

DH and I are giving them a small basket filled with trinkets and doodads; Hershey kisses, pair of socks, pair of mittens, and then one item at the $25. So far I have spent $20 on a game for the Nintendo, will use the data card that came with camera, a $15 bottle of perfume from Juicy Couture, and a Marvel hero character watch.

DH is getting the Magic Bullet (that I used $50 Kohls cash, and then paid OOP $19) and a sweater I found a zippered pullover at Sam's Club for $14.81.

I'm feeling very happy with what I've spent (cash for most of it, except camera and Michael Korrs bag - trying for those Chase Sapphire Reward Points). I know that these are things that will be appreciated an used, and there won't be a pile of things that held interest for 14 minutes and then that was it.

How are you doing with your shopping?

straw, or hay.

I was giving some thought to sentimental things handed down through generations. The only thing we have is a baggy full of hay.

I should add that this is valued by all of my children and is a staple in our Nativity set.

This is hay that my great-grandmother brought with her when she left the village in the old country (Hungary). It was 1922, and she was 22 years old and she was joining her husband in Chicago. She was travelling alone with her two year old (my grandmother) and six month old daughters. Though her husband worked extra long and hard so he could send enough money for her to not to have to travel third-class steerage, so she had her own private room.

Anyhow, she decided to bring some hay from her homeland with her. It lived in her drawer for many years and I don't know when it managed to make its way to a manger, but it has.

And every year we reverently put it out with the sheep and oxen. And we remember the grandma who came to America.

I share this only because it seems like such the opposite of a friend's family who is fighting about
"Grandma's Lladro Nativity" set - because it can't exactly be split up, and no one trusts each other enough to share and let it travel throughout the family members from year-to-year.

We returned to our home parish after several weeks away. It was nice to see familiar faces, and we give high ratings to the new "visiting" priest who has taken over the 11 AM Mass. And in the Narthex was the gift tree with one last remaining gold star on it with the age and wished for item of the gift recipient.

My younger daughter is particularly giving and has a real heart for service. She was so happy to grab that star and said, "We can share the joy."

Well, our six-year old boy would like an Air Hog Remote-controlled Roller Copter and it could be found at Walmart. And I seriously wondered how much this items would cost and if that was the reason why it was the last star on the tree. Well, my people were all happy to pass the star up and down the pew to one another so they could read it. And I decided that whatever the cost, this little boy would like this item and we'd find it for him. I figured at least $60?

Happily, we purchased a red one online for $44.95 which includes shipping. And we can't stop with just that - have to buy socks and mittens and candy!

So fun! Tis the season to share the joy. I am so happy that my children want to share it!

We've embraced simplicity and been clearing out and cleaning up. Today we turned the kids loose with furniture polish and the vacuum cleaner and they did a really good job on the family room, dining room, and living room. We used to have two trees and tons of Christmas clutter on every flat surface, made me feel very claustrophobic and antsy on December 26th.

Then last year we removed the "fun" tree from the family room because of our then-puppy. That area was his to romp and play and had to be clear of anything ground level or it would become puppy fodder and chewed up. So we ditched the "color-coordinated" snooty tree in the living room, and our family ornaments (which is quite varied and extensive) went in the living room. We also used my parents' artificial tree that they used one year and then determined it was too big.

Well, this year we decided to stick with the one tree. And some of the pre-lit white strands were out. We opted to put colored lights and a strand of solid blue. It looked so fun. And by the time all the ornaments were on, it was so fun. Collectively we agree this is the best tree we've ever had and reflects "whimsy" was the word.

We were avid collectors of things awhile back. Dept 56 Dickens Village and Dept 56 North Pole/Alpine Village. I mean tons of houses and people and stuff. This year we asked the kids which set of houses they'd like and they picked the North Pole, which is fun. So that village is on the mantle in the family room. We put out our collection of snow globes on the entertainment center. And in the china cabinet I did a vignette with some of the things I like best - vintage things from the 50s from my grandmother, a Mary Englebreit teapot with some colorful snowmen and a Jim Shore Mickey and Minnie mouse. And that's it.

We've got the Nativity set up on a table and have two baskets of our vast collection of Christmas books.

It sounds like a lot, but it really is FAR LESS THAN WHAT WE'VE HAD. I no longer feel and obligation to put out ridiculously expensive holiday knick-knacks from the MIL. I can look at what we've got and admire and enjoy it.

And each child is getting one gift to open under the tree. These are gifts in the $160-$180 range and are items that they've asked for or were on the very short list they provided. Instead of stocking this year, we're letting the Advent Buddies (our version of Secret Santa) fill those, and DH and I will be putting together a family gift basket with some games/movies/snacks, etc.

And gifts from the extended family will be fewer. My brother gave the girls very nice phones and paid for the first two months of service. That was Christmas and birthday. My parents and brother are going in on video rockers for the boys since they have the video game set up in their room. My inlaws will give cash to pay for a weekend away in February at the indoor water park. Our gift giving is pretty minimal, too.

Simplicity really is where it is at. Of course, focusing on the real reason of the season for we who are Christian. And we've been attending a different parish for weekly Mass, and at dinner today my younger daughter said she misses our attendance there so we said we'd return for Advent and Christmas Eve Mass.

That's all for now.

For those of us opting out this season for whatever reason, there is some residual fidgety energy that I've got, though I'm pretty much over the "oh my gosh, it's an item I can't live without and it's at a deeply discounted price ..." feeling/fear /brainwashing/consumerist mentality.

I will admit to going to Radio Shack yesterday at 8:00 AM to purchase my oldest daughter a Nikon Coolpix L830 with free memory card ($300 reduced to $169.99, paid $184.xx out the door with tax). This is the daughter who is a natural in front of and behind the camera - unique perspective and a true photographer's eye.

We had a lovely Thanksgiving at my brother's house. He's getting married in July and the new sister-in-law to be is very companionable. Since she was a casual girlfriend for several years (and my brother dated other while dating her) I didn't worry too much about bonding. But I really like her and I missed her kids (who were at their father's). It will definitely be nice to grow the extended family.

So, anyhow, going full circle back to Black Friday ... I am hoping that some of you can post your finds and steals so we can get our Black Friday Fix. And how early did you all head out?

This is a bit early, but I'll be spending time in the kitchen cooking the sides we contribute to Thanksgiving dinner at my brothers and playing games with the kids.

Just wanted to say:



Seriously, I am thankful for the SA Community here! I appreciate all the support and advice over the past year when things have been uncertain. Hope you all enjoy your day with family and friends.

This was a fun freebie pattern that I found online. I would have liked to do a larger version of this, but the pattern was more than I wanted to pay and I am rather short of time to be crafty. And the designer is the same. So win-win all the way around.

I went to Kohls and spent the $50 in Kohl's cash (Disclosure: really purchased half-hearted items last week before bucks expired, ended up returning those items and got the $50 on a gift card) plus my last $10 cash and used $9.04 on the debit card to purchase a Magic Bullet for DH's Christmas gift. He inherited his mother's Vitamix and thinks it is too labor intensive to use on a daily basis. He's getting more serious about becoming healthy, so I think it was a wise move. I ended up buying the simple original one.

And Kohls gave me an additional $15 Kohls cash for spending $50. The never-ending allure to keep the Kohls shoppers coming back!

And then I headed to Target where I purchased two boys robes and one pair of slipper socks. $30 - $5.00 coupon - $10 gift cards (used one of my three collected over the past ten days). OOP was $14.xx and I used the Target Red Debit for additional 5% savings.

I do feel like I spent wisely on items that will be used. And appreciated.

1) DH's Rx was in need of refilling. Last shopping trip to Target yielded me a coupon for $10 gift card with a transfer. I transferred it and got the gift card. Now up to $30.

2) I have a coupon for $5 off of $25 kids' clothes purchase at Target. Yesterday I found robes on sale for $10 and am in need of two (we regularly pass things down). I will also get an additional pair of gloves or socks to get it up to the $25. Again, needed item so "saving while spending."

3) I spent more than I had planned this weekend. Youngest son went to state for the soccer challenge (his older brother went and won two years ago, and oldest sister qualified but didn't compete three years ago). DH filled up the tank where gas was cheap so that was $50. The three oldest went to see "Mockingjay I" and I spent $21.50 on tickets for matinee and $5 on candy at CVS. I also had lots of other kids in the house. One young lady spends at least 2/4 weekends with us, sometimes 3/4. And we had four additional boys for a sleepover on Saturday (impromptu). Cupboards are definitely a lot lighter after that go around.

4) Being crafty and substituting items in my stash. I found several freebie patterns that I'm using and am definitely being creative. Saving $ there.

5) Today is our annual muffin making marathon. We give the teachers at the school an assortment of goodies because we are thankful for their efforts. Last month we found the cutest clearance mugs that look like owls at Michaels. I think I spent $1.25 on each. We only bought those for sons' homeroom teachers.

I'm trying to have a better stocked pantry/fridge for healthier snack options. I've been shopping more at Sam's Club and filling in with an Aldi's run for things not purchased in bulk. My grocery budget has increased about 15%, but I'm OK with that.

In one week (tracked for past three), we (7) go through about 5# of apples, 5# of tangerines/oranges, 3# bananas, one dozen hard-boiled eggs, 20 ct. box of fiber bars, 36 Danimals, and 20 Oikos yogurt. That does include supplemental breakfast and lunch items, and after school/sports snacks, and sometimes bed time snacking.

The cost for this is $6 + $6 + $1.50 + $1.00 + $7.75 + $10.50 + $8 (just looked at Sam's receipt) = ~ $40.00.

Since this is a random observation, I'm not sure why I'm sharing. I am taking a closer and more honest look of spending in all areas. The "LIVING" category encompasses both gas and groceries (and groceries is the umbrella for food/cleaning/paper/personal care/pets).

I suppose the next area I will look at is lunches. My kids and husband bring their lunches from home. Both the high schools have a cafeteria, but the girls bring from home. The parochial school has an optional hot lunch program but it is ridiculously expensive ($5-$6) for each meal and when you've three eating that can blow the budget very fast.

Since it's a two-day week, I won't bother tracking the cost of lunch things until the first week in December.

(1) Made $750 IRA contribution from birthday funds
(2) Added $250 to EF/Small savings
(3) Spent $50 on groceries at Target - got $10 gift card
(4) Paid $20 cash for gift card at Steak N Shake - got $5 gift card for future use (Jan)
(5) Past week was low spend, with 3 NSDs
(6) In addition to the two big gifts for the kids, I spent $5.50 on candy for stockings and $6 on two ornaments
(7) Non-financial: Decluttered two big bags of trash to dumpster, two bags of hand-me-downs passed on, making headway in the basement.

Last week: plagued with insomnia.

This week: germs, feeling run-down with no great culmination in any illness (aside from drippy nose and sore throat). Husband has it and one son is home today.

Last night: 4.25 hours of sleep. Today: no naps despite trying hard.

Tonight: Induction into NHS for older daughter. Just showered and am trying to pull myself together. Will be fine, but hope I don't crash.

I spent $57 on groceries at Target yesterday and got the $10 gift card. Have another two coupons and will shop on Friday/Saturday (payday is Friday). Derailed on menu planning and know that I could be doing better in that dept. Will try to have that $100 in groceries cover menu items for girls' birthday and some holiday baking.

So, just schlepping along ...

Yep, it happens once a year, usually at this time when everyone seems to need at least something and I decide to bit the bullet and go to Kohl's.

It happened yesterday with 4/5 of the kids. The remaining 1/5 went earlier in the week and I spent $37.61 OOP (A dress suitable for NHS induction and Christmas was $33.99 and a winter sweater was $19.99). I had a $10 off coupon and daughter put in $10 of her allowance because sweater was more of a want/need.

If only yesterday had been so easy: I spend just over $300. That got: one medium warmth winter coat (Columbia/I try to invest in decent coats as they move on down through the boys over the years), on Nike winter hat, one Nike hat/glove combo, two pairs of Nike gym shoes, two Christmas sweaters for boys, one Christmas dress for younger daughter, and a winter sweater for same daughter. I ended up with $60 Kohls cash that I'll use for DH's Christmas gift.

At $300, I probably could have done better at different stores shopping sales/discounts, etc. However at $240 (which is what I consider I spent given the Kohls cash) I think I did reasonably well.

I'm also investing in better shoes for the boys. Payless Shoes just don't hold up and if they at least look "cool" they are easier to pass down.

I defrayed a second winter coat by offering to spruce up a gently used North Face for 2nd son. He was in need of hat/gloves so he was very happy with the Nike combo he picked.

Still sticking to NEEDS versus WANTS. Spending was definitely within reason. Put it on the Chase Sapphire which has a decent reward after $3K.

Well, another birthday rolls around and I find myself a year older, maybe a bit wiser, and a bit thinner (thanks to sustained effort in running). Happier than before (when there was uncertainty about our financial future).

I think I deleted the post about step-nephew and his poor choices (like being a 20 year old in jail on a third arrest - this time a felony X for distributing and selling weed and Molly near a school). I was a bit surprised that my biological father/surrogate grandfather to said step-nephew was posting $50K cash bond and covering discounted $11.5K retainer for a well-known Chi-town criminal defense attorney). Well, again, not my money, not my song. Still I was left with a big dumb look on my face and a "?" in the thought bubble over my cartoon self.

Well, my father sent me a birthday card with a check for $1K. I'll be putting $750 into my retirement fund and use the remaining $250 toward a family outing - we'd like to see something this holiday season. And in our conversation he said he'd like to contribute toward our plans to adopt. Home study/travel, just let him know when we're ready. Still in the getting ready phase of fixing house/paperwork/etc. We'll move forward in January.

So, I really think that my attitude served me well. Best to mind my own business. And generosity came my way. And I think I'm reasonably happy with my distribution. 75% responsible - 25% frivolous.

My sons are at the age where they are becoming more interested in technology. The only item on one son's list was the Nintendo 3DS XL. I purchased that earlier in the week for $168.xx out of pocket (paid cash)

Another son had two items on his list, one of which was the beats headphones (blue was his preference) which are about $199 everywhere I have looked. Target. Kohls. Walmart. Just found them on Groupon for $129.99 down from $199. I purchased them and couldn't be happier.

ETA: Out of pocket with tax $142.00.

This move necessitated me moving a $150 tuition payment to the 21st. But, again, cash.

Also, thank you for all the kind suggestions about dealing with insomnia. I managed to fall asleep for three hours, was awake for several, managed about another two before the alarm went off. Then came home and dozed another two hours. So I at least feel somewhat rested. Yesterday was a hazy fog.

Insomnia. It's mine. I don't want it. At my last appointment with the doc, I requested sleeping pills. He wouldn't do it. Said he doesn't prescribe them. Which sucks. For me.

In the past when I've been desperate to sleep, I've used Vicodin. Bad, I know. But the result was sleep. And I felt better. And I've bummed both Ambien and Lunesta from my best friend. Again, sleep was the result.

I've gone through a spurt of sleeping with Zzquil. But then when I switched to generic, that just made me nauseous and dizzy and rather sleepy. But I still wok up in the middle of the night and had to deal with not being able to sleep and feeling sick.

I sleep in a room with all the lights turned off. No TV or clock. Window opened a crack. Decent pillow. Decent blanket coverage (nothing too heavy or too light).

And I'm not sleeping. Four nights in a row now and I think I'm gonna crash.

So I think I need to try melatonin or something else.

Wondering what has worked for you in the advance.

Anything at all is appreciated.

Little did I know that Mr. Bean would come to epitomize my existence (toothpicks to keep eyes open!)

On of the boys for Christmas had one item on his list: a Nintendo 3DS XL. I priced them a few weeks ago and they appeared to be $200 - still a stretch because I don't spent that much on each child.

I got the ads from my mom this morning. I've given up couponing and shop for groceries at Sam's Club or Aldis, but figured I should start keeping an eye on things.

Target had the item on sale for $174.99 and I had a $10 off of $100. It shouldn't have worked, the cashier told me, but it did, so I ended up paying $168.xx after using the debit RED card. I had a $100 bill for Christmas plus DH's $80 fro his second job with bio dad. Paid cash. One child done.

Now moving on to tackling the next desired purchase. Will have to pick one item and start strategizing.

I have a cold, similar to ccfree, some of the kids were under the weather and I thought I dodged that bullet. Nah. And I watched the second-to-last-game of the soccer season yesterday and it was COLD. So, now I have a massive sinus head-ache, popping ears and a sore throat. Will head back to bed for a nap, or at least curl up with my book ("Sharp Objects" by Gillian Flynn who wrote "Gone Girl". I'd be enjoying it more if my best friend's boyfriend's daughter wasn't currently inpatient due to cutting)

The budget pots are pretty low this week (due to the poor timing of property tax payment/mortgage). The cupboards are a rather odd assortment of mish-mash that I'll finish for my lunches during the week.

All is well. Off to catch up on the blogs, and I'll end with a wish that everyone stays healthy.

I planned on spending $95 for household (groceries/toiletries/pets). I spent $87.50 between Ultra and Aldi's (saved $4 at Ultra). I cooked yesterday making a big vat of cabbage/tomato soup for DH, along with curried chickpeas and spinach (from budgetbytes.com). I also made vegetable stew in the crockpot and homemade mac and cheese. I shop on Fridays, so Tues will be leftovers, Wed will be scrambled eggs and waffles, and Thurs will be sandwiches and pasta salad.

Big news is my grandmother (who is 95 and in California) is moving in with my mom and stepdad. In two weeks. She's lonely and losing weight and misses all of us. My uncle and his wife are in CA and both work full time and only see "G" on the weekends for grocery shopping. Here there is also my brother and I, my 5 kids and my brother's getting married in July and he'll have two stepkids, so there is always something going on here.

My kids pressed me for a birthday gift - something to open. I told them to pool their resources and I'd like one charm for my Brighton bracelet. Something birthday related or Thanksgiving related. I think the most they'll have to pony up is $5-$7.50 each. And for my "party", my mom will make pizza from scratch and a triple chocolate whammy cake.

We're having our plumber friend out to give us a quote on some leaky drains/pipes. Our family room ceiling has two holes in it. Hoping to get that done by end of November. In January we'll formally move on the home study. We've decided on an agency other that the one we originally were going to deal with because it is more universally accepted, and we are open to several options.

Warning: Proud Mom Rant below

Older daughter will be inducted into the NHS on 11/18. She isn't exactly what I would consider an extroverted leader; she is very quiet and insightful. I've heard wonderful things about her leadership qualities as a group leader at several retreats. Our Youth Pastor said it best, she leads by her quiet example. She attends a parochial high school which had a graduation requirement of 40 service hours over 4 years. Going into her junior year she has just over 200 hours of service. She was the only person in her religion class who said it didn't matter to her if her potential mate had piercings or tattoos (not only have we raised her to be open minded and aware that its on the inside that counts, but we her parents and uncle have piercings and tattoos).

Induction into the NHS is going to be attended by the family plus grandparents on both sides and her uncle. We've decided to come back here to the house to celebrate with an ice cream social. We've got some pretty cool dishes to accommodate banana splits and Sundaes. I'll get a big tub of ice cream from Sam's and stop at Aldi's for the toppings. If we went to Steak N Shake and treated everyone with shakes it would cost an arm and a leg and a lung ($5 x 12 - family and guests). Our money will be able to walk a whole lot further here (at home) than there (at Steak n Shake).

I've also carved $35 out of limited budget funds to go toward something for my daughter to wear. The summer/spring wardrobe isn't lacking, but winter is. I also have a $10 off of $25 at Kohls, so I hope she can find a skirt and top that she can wear at least part of (if two pieces) at Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Our money tank is running on fumes for the next two weeks and two days. I don't anticipate much spending other than gas and groceries. The property taxes and mortgage payments left very little room to navigate. I wasn't exactly lamenting this situation, because the budget corrects itself on 11/21.

On a whim, I ran into the resale shop at 4:30. I'm looking for two or three book titles that my girls will be needing for second semester Lit classes.

The resale shop supports the local domestic violence shelter and I have seen women shopping there with vouchers. I always find that sad because my mother was a victim of domestic violence when she was married to my biological father and I remember how carefully she planned her departure. It helped that she was legally divorced from him before my brother's birth but decided to stay after he was born. My mother rented an apartment on her own, had my grandfather come one morning, they packed and moved out whatever would fit in one run. My mother picked us up early from school and we were on a plane to FL to visit my uncle before my father got home from work. Anyhow, my mother did go on to marry my stepfather and they've been happily together going on 35 years. My biological father has a long string of unsuccessful relationships (two marriages, and is now in a 15 year dysfunctional relationship with someone my age). Boy that was a bit of diversion from my post topic.

Anyhow, today there was a little girl maybe 10 shopping for a Christmas gift for her mother (I am assuming that based on the items she was looking at). She had her vouchers and was carrying Christmas wrapping paper. I watched her look as she carefully looked at each home décor item. She picked thing up and put them down and finally went back to a brown betty teapot. I know that because my mom has a collection of them. I wondered why she picked that item, but whatever the reason, she had a smile of her face of contentment.

I complimented her choice, saying that was the prettiest thing on the shelf. She just smiled and nodded and didn't maintain eye contact.

I wonder what her story was? What she's seen and where she lives now. Regardless, I am thankful to whomever arranged this shopping trip for her. She had the freedom to look and chose whatever item her (presumable) mother would like. A mother that loved her enough to get out of a situation to keep her safe.

I'm thinking that the gifts that we do buy for relatives this year will come from places that support a cause. We've scaled back this season on the gift list, just because we aren't lacking for anything and there are so many people in need.

On another note, we donated our pumpkins from Halloween (we carved late) to our neighbors who were collecting treats for goats and sheep. I'm amazed at the little things that can be done to help create joy. In this instance, for goats and sheep.

Oldest daughter is ready to emerge as a driver. She's planning on taking the road test next week. She's completed State Farm's Steer Clear online program and her most recent report card shows a 3.8 GPA. I called to find out the cost to insure her (increase in our premium).

According to State Farm, we have three cars (which we do) and we will have three drivers, so DD will be a primary driver on one vehicle. Cost for 6 month premium is $479. (Our six-month premium without her is $218.16).

The third car is a 1973 Chevy Corvette that sees the light of day only in the summer, never when there is a rain cloud in sight. It is a stick shift that I can't drive. It sees maybe 350 miles annually.

We've had this car insured by Haggerty in Traverse City, MI which specializes in classic cars in the past. I don't recall how it ended up back here at State Farm.

I decided to transfer coverage back to Haggerty. Thus, State Farm considers us a two car family and Isabella is back to being an occasional driver. And our six month premium drops from $479 to $378.47.

The woman in the office wasn't too happy to do it, but Hell, my money is my money. And State Farm doesn't need to get more of it than necessary! And similar coverage at Haggerty will cost about $2.50 more per month.

Takes a bit of thinking to outwit the money grabbers! And so what if I pay Haggerty vs. State Farm. *sigh*

SCENARIO 1: HALLOWEEN

THEN:

I used to be one of those people in a consumer mindset. When the kids were little and there fewer of them, I actually spent quite a bit to outfit them for Halloween. Mostly the Disney store. By the second Halloween with kids we had Winnie the Pooh and the Hunny Pot. And then a few years after that we had two different Tinker Bells and a Peter Pan (really a Robin Hood that I doubled as either/or). We've had cheerleaders in NFL uniforms with football players as there were more kids.

NOW:

This year the response to Halloween costumes, "Hit the costume bin. I'm sure you'll manage to put together something that you like."

SCENARIO 2: CLEARANCE ITEMS

My boys occupy one room that we cleared out last Friday and streamlined. Removed furniture that they don't use. They are at the age where they like the XBOX and we have one TV in the house (aside from one in the parents' bedroom). We had the family party for the boys this weekend (they are Aug/Sept/Oct birthdays). They opted to pool their gift cards to buy a TV for their room, for the video games. DH took them to Target and brokered the transaction.

THEN:

Never would have considered buying a clearance TV (a 39" flat screen Magnavox) with no box/stand/or remote. It was $180. DH would have moved on to something far more expensive.

NOW:

DH asked the sales guy what was the best price they could do, given it didn't have box/stand/remote. Sales guy consulted Store Manager who discounted it by 30%. They purchased a universal remote and spent OOP (their gift cards) $$150. We ordered a wall mount for $25 on Amazon. And the coolest thing, the boys were impressed with Dad's negotiating skills.

SCENARIO 3: PARTIES

THEN:

I used to be far more concerned about entertaining. More complex recipes for foods that my kids really didn't like. Buying cake pans for whatever the party "theme" was - and the kids would have outfits and decorations that all "coordinated" (we did Blues Clues, Angelina Ballerina, Madeline, Bob the Builder, etc.) After Winnie the Pooh etc. I actually ordered party paper goods on line to carry the theme through. Totally crazy nuts I was.

NOW:

I run to Sam's Club for Italian beef tubs because that's the boys' favorite. I also pick up a 24 count cupcake box. I also run to Aldi's to pick up ingredients for their favorite salads (pasta and taffy apple). And the Dollar Tree for sports themed paper goods. And I turn their sisters loose to decorate with what we have (reusable banners and streamers).

SCENARIO 4: RECEIPT SURVEYS

THEN:

Throw out all useless receipts.

NOW:

Take that survey online or make that 1.5 minute phone call. In the past month alone, I saved $4 at payless using a coupon, $6 on haircuts (coupon found on back of Jewel receipt), and $3 at Pet Smart on food for our bearded dragon. Very simple ways to save. And those 40% off coupons at Michaels help defray the cost of kids' school project items.

Not from a paying job, but from a volunteer position I held. As a member of the Pastoral Council/Parish Board that consults with the pastor of our parish on all aspects of business.

One of the things that I did was to write up articles for our weekly bulletin which showcased parishioners and their works of service both within and outside the community. For example, the woman who coordinates PADS with other churches in the town I live, and the man who heads up the Pro-Life Committee. I think I'm able to do a fairly good job sticking to the information (I am rather a Pro-Choice sort of gal, while I hope that everyone makes the right choice in their personal lives, as a therapist I worked with too many broken people to believe that one blanket statement is everyone's truth.)

This last write-up I did was about my friend's organization which I wrote about in a previous post. My friend didn't want to talk about herself, rather the people who have been helped by her organization (to bring solar powered light to the remote regions of the Philippines). In my one page article (single-spaced, mind you) I wrote the sentence: "The cost to bring light to a family in the Philippines is $40 for two years." Just as plain as that.

The Bulletin Proofer flagged my article and stated it should remove that sentence or appear under "Stewardship". Since this is something I'm fairly passionate about (this organization), I let the secretary know that if they pulled that sentence out (which I consider is information rather than a "fund-raising pitch") that they didn't have my permission to run the article. Well, they ran the article because it would have been too difficult to fill that full page.

Well, the President of the Board who micro-manages the entire Board, found out and accused me of using this platform to assert my own agenda. It was one sentence about the cost. And I was told that I am not serving the parish because I didn't agree with them (mind you this was the proofers opinion and no one on staff).

So, I have concluded that it is best for me to just be done. I am struggling a bit because in some ways it seems petty. But the accusation was pretty clear. And I would think this man knows me fairly well.

But then again he doesn't really like me because 1) I've studied at a non-Catholic Seminary, and 2) I don't exactly fit the Mother Walton or Mother Ingalls persona.

So I'm going to have a chat with our Pastor and let me know that its just not a good fit. I expect he'll argue with me and not be thrilled; however, I volunteer in plenty other capacities.

For standing my ground on $40, I'm out. But that's OK.

I really just needed to type this out. Couldn't do it over in the other corner of the blogosphere because I'm not anonymous there.

Thank you all who have been supportive and held my hand during the trials and tribulations of the outcome of my husband's employment situation. His last day was supposed to be 8/31, but then he was extended through 1/31/15. He had a very promising lead several months ago which ultimately was a "no" as far as hiring him.

He had a prelim phone interview a week ago Friday with the OD HR team in FL and it went well. He then interviewed last Monday for a financial analyst position which was presented as some sort of administrator. The individual who will be his boss is someone he's known for awhile.

I should also add that there was another round of interviewing that he did in mid September which didn't culminate in any offer. Very discouraging.

The good news is he was offered that job as the rebate administrator - lateral move, same pay, same three weeks vacation. It is a huge relief to know that this period of unrest, worrying, wondering, perseverating over numbers and scenarios, etc. is behind us.

I'll be posting the budget and requesting feedback. A bare-it-all approach because I feel we could be doing better. The $100,000 post of the forum got me thinking.

Thanks again. I feel I emerged with my sanity (sort of) intact.

A friend of mine started a not-for-profit a few years back and it has grown quite a bit. Her mission is to bring solar lighting to the darkest corners of the world. The first place she has targeted is the remote island of the Philippines.

1.6 billion men, women and children live in darkness after the sun goes down. Kerosene is a costly way to provide light; however, not only does it damage the environment, but it damages the upper respiratory systems and causes thousands of serious burns a year (in places where there is little to no access to medical help). Light is the fastest way to improve the situation of the poor. It allows mothers the chance to work longer to make goods to sell at market to support their children (one organization cited a 30% increase in income). Children with access to light can study longer and overall attain 2 more years of formal schooling than their counterparts without light. $40 brings a solar light that lasts two years to these families.

What I was most excited about it is for $24 a solar headlamp can be purchased. The mission trip is in February (which I had hoped to go on, but cost $2,500 and that is 60% of fee for our home study) and some tribal groups in the mountain region of the Occidental Mindoro have been identified. The mission is going there to equip the midwives with headlamps to assist in delivering babies. How neat is that? As a mother who loves the idea of motherhood, I've asked my family (immediate and extended) to consider making a donation in the amount of $24 for the purchase of headlamps (In lieu of my November birthday gift). And my daughters (November and December birthdays) have joined me.

So, how many headlamps do you think we'll be able to have donated in our names? We are hoping for 20! How exciting is that?

Hard to believe that half the month is already over! The kids are finding their Halloween costumes from the dress-up bins and we've decorated with from our stash of seasonal things.

Money is on auto-pilot. We're not spending much and what we are spending seems reasonable.

DH is interviewing for yet another OD analyst job. Its gotten tiresome, and I imagine when he has an offer he'll take it. Though we are still meandering down the deacon path and that seems to be the door that God's keeping open.

We're feeling quite part of the community again. I've had to decide not to attend Mass said by one particular priest because his sermons are just not uplifting. I am of the mindset that if someone is at Mass, they are at Mass. I don't particularly care the way people are dressed. I imagine this is because I myself have several piercings and dyed black hair and I don't fit any particular "mold". Last Sunday it was all about being inappropriately dressed. I see the point, but that particular Gospel had SO MUCH more to it. Anyhow, DH suggested that we "visit" some of our past priests at different parishes they've been moved to. Despite that, we've rallied around my friend's family - he is having a bone marrow stem cell transplant at the end of the month. His sister/my friend is in the hospital with pneumonia, so I've been cooking for her husband/son and taking meals over to their dad who is 92. DH was the recipient of leftovers from a K of C function on Tuesday (brats and sauerkraut). Definitely need to remind myself all that is right with my faith and faith family.

My frugal finds: located on the local FB garage sale page for my community: $35 for the following - all in brand new condition Nike Air Jordan brand - four sweat pants, four shorts, two sweatshirts, two long-sleeve tees. And also two Waverly valances for $10 (redo of my kitchen) and I happened to have a third panel that I have loved and never gotten rid of.

Off to catch up on the blogs.

I think part of my frustrations come from not managing the EXTRANEOUS category very well. And in all honesty, I consider everything other than LIVING (gas/groceries/household/pet) and UTILITIES (that is obvious) to be EXTRANSOUS (ink for the printer/contact lenses/pet grooming/oil changes/clothing/etc.) However, I am not sure how to unwrap my mind around the ill-defined concept.

Tomorrow is pay day and we are in need (again) of ink, grooming, oil change, and glasses. And guess what? The next pay day in two weeks will require covering grooming (different dog) and oil change (different car).

I am open to any/all suggestions on tackling this challenge. The funds available for these expenses are usually $200 a month. $100/two weeks. And that also includes clothes and sporting items.

The season change is requiring some additional clothing for the boys who grew. I found a lot of NIKE clothing (four pants/four shorts/two long sleeve hooded sweatshirts/one long-sleeve T) for $35 on FB local garage sale page. Buying those today at 12. Have to advance myself $10 from tomorrow's EXTRANSOUS fund.

Not lamenting, open to the challenge, any appreciate any other way to view these regular expenses. Just having a very difficult time shedding EXTRANEOUS. Maybe a revamp of the expanses and how I categorize?
Maybe better tracking? I do buy online when I can (for lenses) and I watch for coupons for oil changes. Just looking for suggestions. Thanks in advance!

Over in the other corner of the cyberworld, no one would really care about the amazingly frugal find I found today at Kohls. So I'm back to share.

We're at that place where every dollar has a job, and the clothing budget is sadly understaffed. No, we're not exactly all running around in sack cloths, but the clothing category is rather scant. My older daughter went to Homecoming after shopping in the closet. And shoes. And she did her own hair and make-up. She covered her own ticket and dinner ($35).

I had $10 Kohls cash and found a dress for my brother's wedding in June. We had an orange color scheme going for Easter this year and anyhow, I found this dress on clearance. And paid $5.15 (tax included). And I saved $60+.

What do you think? Acceptable for a summer morning wedding?