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Home > It is a Different Day (Still non Dollar-related) (Major concern now)
 

It is a Different Day (Still non Dollar-related) (Major concern now)

March 20th, 2014 at 09:27 am

And I didn't have the choice to sit around and wallow in self-pity, as I did yesterday, admittedly. My nine year old is home with an atrocious cough that casts me back to sleepless nights of croup. He feels alright now that he is medicated, but the cough he produces is alarmingly bad. Talked with the nurse: liquids, Robitussin or Mucinex, etc. I am pleased that I have a fully-stocked treasure trove of OTC meds. Definitely a money-saving act in and of itself (whatever OTC I need is never on sale and I no longer coupons for those items).

Emotionally I am still feeling strained. I haven't really slept well, but I am still working out regularly and am starting to seriously train for a 5K Fundraiser on 5/18. It is good to have a goal. And I'd like to see myself in the low 120s. It is nice to feel muscles in my thighs, rather than flab (oh, I still have the flab, but there *is* muscle). I haven't moved toward the cute workout clothes desire, but I might be opting for something other than large T-shirts and athletic capris. I'll be sensible though, nothing too whackily colorful and my stomach will remain covered at all times.

I appreciate the feedback from yesterday's post. I don't really know why I feel the way I do, and in the instance of the relationship where I've reached out (and feel rejected), I have to remind myself that there was a reciprocal gesture a month ago, and there will be another one at some point, and I just need to step back. Difficult to do. But I did have a flash of understanding about another relationship I have that I sort of "tolerate" the other person half-heartedly, and this person is in fairly regular contact (not about relevant things). So I am being nicer, realizing that we are all on this walk toward life and why do I need to feel better than this other person or bothered by communication. I hate to say that I am learning these lessons now, at this decade in my life. It goes deeper than the "be nice" which is what I've always told my kids. I suppose it is "be genuinely nice" is the amendment.

I am caring for my brother's dogs tonight. That means $10 or $15. I told my brother that I'd like to run up a tab and he can payout at $100. That way I won't fritter the funds away, and I can use them for summer camp for the kids.

And my mother feels badly that some of us are sick and we're stuck in the house. That translated to an offer of bagels from Great American Bagel and most likely snacks from Trader Joes.

Still feeling very bad about my friend's mother, Sicily/Teresa, the missing plane (that a friend knew passengers on), and etc. etc. Maybe just forced myself to cope better today.

Communication with DH was normal. He left work early and took oldest son to a presentation on human development at our local health resource department. There was no residual stress of the job. And he talked to another recruiter yesterday so maybe he is feeling more hopeful about getting out sooner than later from the job.

Caution: This is where I have a wake up call and am feeling very scared, because all of the above stuff is inconsequential ...

I did take a step in proactive communication and told him that I'm finding it difficult to talk to him because I don't know what sort of response I'm going to get, so I'm feeling that I'd rather be silent than say anything. I added that I don't think that is really a good thing. He acknowledged what I said. Nothing other than acknowledging. I will take that as a step in the right direction. He said he's been having some chest pains from stress and anxiety. I think something is going to have to give. And our EF only has $10.4K in it.

Definitely weighing heavily on my mind right now. The above. Scares me. What if the job kills him?

8 Responses to “It is a Different Day (Still non Dollar-related) (Major concern now)”

  1. creditcardfree Says:

    ((Hugs)) Men are often not the ones to head to the doctor, although neither am I, but it might ease the pain both of you are feeling if he does make a visit to check on his health. You both need to find a way to ease (cope) with the stress during this transition in your life. Changing jobs is one of those BIG life events that IS stressful. Don't dismiss that. Exercise helps, but so does communication with your spouse. It seems like one more thing to do, but it is so vital! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, Laura.

  2. Bluebird Says:

    So sorry you're going through this difficult time. Please try to take care of yourself, mentally and physically. Have you encouraged DH to see his doctor about the symptoms? My doctor really helped me a couple of years ago with work related stress issues. And my DH has recently had headaches and sharp pains in his head that the doctor feels is stress related to work. At least he had tests done to rule out anything else, so that alone eased his mind. You are really handling all of the challenges extremely well. One day at a time! Try to get some quality sleep, which will make things a little easier to deal with. ((Hugs))

  3. CB in the City Says:

    I agree with Bluebird that sleep will make a big difference in how everything looks and your ability to cope.

    Chest pain is scary, though. Does he know to chew on aspirin right away if he feels he is having an event? He should get it checked out, but I know how men are.

  4. snafu Says:

    {{{Hugs}}} you sound sleep deprived. Is it ok to suggest that when DS naps, you do like-wise.? We manage emotions from a stronger footing when well rested. Would DH join you walking DB dogs after dinner? Exercise like walking dogs can be so beneficial for coping with stress, sorting ideas in your mind and even pleasant chit chat.

  5. Looking Forward Says:

    ((HUGS))
    Smile

  6. ceejay74 Says:

    ((hugs)) Definitely sympathize. (Gently) lean on him to get it checked out and accelerate that exit plan ASAP. (AS has extremely high, inherited blood pressure, and NT had a seemingly near-death experience probably partly due to exhaustion and stress, so I know the feeling that your soulmate is in danger!)

  7. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    ((hugs)) It is scary wondering if you're SO is having a possible bad health scenario. Like the others said, try to get some sleep and see if that helps. I know the times I feel most down/despondent/scared about everything is when I haven't had enough sleep.

  8. bluesfemme Says:

    So much going on at the moment that will be eating away at your emotional resilience. Please do continue to take care of yourself; I think it's great you've been exercising, as that will help. I also recommend Vitamin B tablets - I have some long-running emotional family issues, and when I feel myself nearing a breaking point, taking those helps me step away from the edge.

    Re your nine year old's cough - I finished a double course of antibiotics last night for what may be a similar thing, so keep with the medications (16 days). Horrendous infected cough, but felt ok, except for exhausted, otherwise. The chest x-rays showed a deep pocket of infection and it's been breaking that down that was the course of the coughing. Upping ventolin was required for me too (if your child is asthmatic).

    For all that is going on, it sounds like you have been visited by the gifts of grace and understanding. I am sending thoughts of patience and hope for dealing with everything else.

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