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Holiday Week - How are you celebrating?

November 17th, 2018 at 06:32 am


This week my 8th grader is off for the full week (first time ever). The 11th grader is in school on Monday/Tuesday.

My goal in life is now simplicity and drama-free. If it gets more complicated that it needs to be, you will find me out of the loop/situation/etc. [If you were my child, you'd see that I won't discuss what created the problem in the first place, but I WILL discuss how we'll solve it - on minor life issues]

Last year there was drama about Turkey Day and where we were eating. My inlaws were dropped from the list of guests at my brother's and replaced with HIS inlaws. Fine. We ate at Buca di Beppos with my inlaws and went over to my brother's for dessert. I like my inlaws but am not skipping my brother's THIS YEAR to eat ITALIAN with them again. Sorry. No. So the NEW PLAN is we will go back and forth between my inlaws and my family. DH was not very happy about it, but I no longer sacrifice my happiness to meet other people's needs - so its an EQUITABLE COMPROMISE.

So this year we are eating with my family at my brother's on Actual Turkey Day. I am only bringing green bean casserole. On Sunday of Turkey Day Weekend, I am going to do a second dinner with my inlaws. I'm planning on the traditional fixings with a turkey breast in the crockpot.

We will also put up our tree and have a new sectional coming for our family room (we've been couchless for a while and moved a click-bed down from my sons' room.) Shopping for Christmas will be minimal this year. Family vacation is the gift (though everyone will get a new pair of PJs and a gift to open in the $70 range). Decluttering for a downsize really gets one thinking about useless stuff.

Hope everyone is warm and safe this weekend.

6 Responses to “Holiday Week - How are you celebrating?”

  1. Smallsteps Says:

    It can be difficult when you need to split holidays with different family groups. Compromise is a good start.
    Years ago, as the person who first had my own thanksgiving when all others went to my mothers I was often blamed for the breakdown of a tradition.
    Simply put we have NOTHING in common with that group and were tired of pretending made the day very tiring.

    Now my kids are grown and have their own plans.
    This year will be a first of just me and DH I was hoping to go out but he received a free turkey from work so now he wants me to cook.

  2. CB in the City Says:

    I always go to my brother's house. It used to be a large group, but this year it will only be his immediate family, me and my kids and grandkids, and my sister. And maybe one of my nephews, son of my late brother. In the past we've also had SIL's parents, a lot more nieces and nephews, and a couple of unrelated people. I think it will be a much more cohesive group this year, and a lot easier on my brother, who does all the cooking.

  3. Wife of the Deacon Says:


    @ smallsteps, free turkey are good! But I agree that it isn't that good if you now need to cook it. Maybe a scaled back meal plan then?

    @ CB, that sounds like quite a family gathering with lots of people!

    This is the first year that we are dealing with the prospect of "sharing" kids with other people (oldest is on the path to marriage). She was going to worry about seeing who when. I said it will all work out, not to stress, and its really the season of celebrating. Last thing I want to do is cause her to frett about dividing time between families.

  4. LuckyRobin Says:

    @smallsteps--You can always freeze the turkey and cook it at Christmas instead. Or Easter. Turkeys freeze well for 6 months. Or you can donate it to the food bank. Or teach your husband how to make it. You sit at the table and talk him through it. Then he can always cook one in the future if his work gives you one and he wants it made.

  5. rob62521 Says:

    I applaud you for standing your ground as far as Thanksgiving! Holidays can be one of the most stressful things when it comes to dealing with who goes where.

    When we first got married, we did Thanksgiving lunch with my husband's family and then supper with mine. DH complained that it was too hard to do two heavy meals in one day. I said if it meant we wouldn't do it with mine, then he was out of luck because it was just my parents at this point whereas his mom had his brother, sil, and nephew. He was hinting he wanted to just do his family and I wouldn't go along with it. I ate lightly at lunch so I could do a bigger meal with my family.

    I found out a few years later that the whole holiday thing really blew up years before I married him. Seems the sil had promised DH's mom that Thanksgiving would always be with her and then Christmas would be with her own family. Then she changed it. I guess the year we weren't invited at all to the sil's house is what truly sealed the deal with DH. He was telling me that we had an open invitation and I said no, his sister-in-law always invited us and we didn't get an invite. He called his mom and sure enough, she told him that there wasn't room for us since the sil had invited her whole family. Of course being the procrastinator that DH is, he wouldn't call until the night before Thanksgiving. My mom was widowed by then so our solution was to eat Thanksgiving that year with my mom at Cracker Barrel. The following year I just planned on having Thanksgiving and we invited DH's mom and his brother and sister-in-law and they call came. But I've cooked ever since then. Sometimes his family came and sometimes they didn't. But that way my mom never had to spend the holiday alone.

  6. Petunia 100 Says:

    Oh gosh, I love Buca di Beppo. Yum!

    Of course you want to have a holiday meal with your brother and family sometimes. Not every of the times, but some of the times for sure. Maybe it's not too late to plan to eat with dh's family the next day?

    It can get a bit sticky divvying up the holidays. I like the new tradition you are starting for the next generation by making sure there is no drama regarding where they go for dinner. Smile

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