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Still out of whack ... how long can this continue?

August 3rd, 2014 at 06:36 am

It is not easy here, let me tell you. I don't handle transition or uncertainty really well, as evidenced by my recent posts.

DH was at BS Camp with oldest son Thurs-Sat. A close family friend died (he had been my boss too for at least eight years off and on). Really, really, really hard loss to take. Didn't help that my mom was broken up too. Can't handle my own emotional baggage lately, so anyone else's is out of the question. I would have liked to stay in bed, but had plans to take kids plus friends to the zoo (six kids total, one on the Aspberger's continuum who liked to wander and leave a trail of liquid wherever we went - I wondered why he brought his own 10 juice boxes, and he kicked every garbage can one, and lamented that the "lucky penny" he found wasn't lucky.) Ordinarily it wouldn't have been a big deal to chaperone him, just on a heavy day I felt SO burdened and I hate to admit that.

Happy news: the bedroom for our foreign exchange student is almost ready. Younger daughter and I bought a mattress at Sams ($106). Couldn't find one to borrow and DH wasn't keen on finding one on craigslist. My brother is getting married next year and is sprucing up his house. We ended up with his end and coffee tables last week. He gave us my grandfather's dresser, a bookcase, two brand new pillow, a brand new shower caddy, and two lamps. I love it when my brother hands things on, it is always an upgrade!

DH and son got back from camp. DH is excited but stressed about the new job opportunity - they've gone from phone interview, to onsite interview, now on to onsite interviews with multiple people (an agenda!) for August 11th. His stress stresses me out even more. I got 4.7 miles in at that Y yesterday. The camper was tired and moody, had a shower and melt down (which I happened to ignore and went to bed). No energy left for nonsense is my motto.

Sleep has been non-existent with the mind working (or not working) and waking up in the middle night. I have been listening to "The Scarlet Letter" (easier for me to listen to than read) and even that hasn't bored me enough to sleep. I resorted to Z-quil three nights ago and then last night. I had to adjust the dosage since I'm on the little side. I think I got it right. Only slept eight hours rather than twelve.

Moneys spent: filled up both minivans since gas is cheap $69 for DH, $59 for mine. Spent on BTS clothing: $36 for 2 uniform pants for older daughter, $20 on pair of jeans for younger daughter, $20 for older daughter (dressy shirt and scarf). Also spent $120 at Walmart ($45 groceries, $60 household items - two sets of dishes/one pair of drapes, $15 on BTS items and pets).

We're off to a Seminarian send-off for our diocese. We were invited by the priest and our parish paid; DH and I are going with the boys. Should be a nice event as we are sitting with another family that are on the "really good friends" list.

Tomorrow craziness begins with Science Readiness Camp, soccer practice for all the boys, and dance class. And I'm not exactly sure when our foreign friends are rolling and what their plans are!

So, if you're still here, thanks for riding the brain dump truck with me. I do feel better getting it all out of my head and onto paper. Maybe one day I will go back and read this and laugh? Not thinking so!

ETA: The new dishes from Walmart ($50 came out of the monthly gift from my grandmother). I also spent $20 of that for the cost in the previous purchase. And I'm happy about both purchases. Smile

7 Responses to “Still out of whack ... how long can this continue?”

  1. creditcardfree Says:

    I think you will go back, read and want to give yourself a hug for being strong and coping despite the hardship of the unknown. ((Hugs))

  2. Bluebird Says:

    Wow! That is a lot going on at once! So sorry to hear about your family friend. I hope you feel better very soon! Your DH's interview sounds very promising, best of luck. Remember to take care of yourself!

  3. snafu Says:

    Change is always difficult. These challenges mostly work out far better than you can imagine. Would it help to give yourself a positive message or mantra like... we can work with this challenge and our faith will support our dreams. Anytime negative thoughts try to overtake, remember to replace it with your mantra.

    Hope your international student is one of those remarkable polite, anxious to please and learn dears. They so want your approval and respect. It must be terrifying to put yourself in a foreigner's hands whose language and customs are so different.

  4. ceejay74 Says:

    Good luck; feeling in a similar boat and just ready to get on to the happy peaceful next stage, whenever that comes!

  5. My English Castle Says:

    Is it just me or does it seem a little wacky for many of us right now? Sending you prayers for peace and serenity. Indeed for all of us!

  6. LivingAlmostLarge Says:

    Your posts sound like someone who is very frugal and has a firm grasp on finances. I know you will be okay. Good luck. I hope everything works out.

  7. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    I'm sorry for your loss of the close family friend.

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